The Realest Post I Ever Wrote & Link Up On the Edge #139
I am drunk. Right now. At this moment. As I sit down to write this post for tomorrow morning. It was not my intention. My intention was to share a new dress that I just received c/o DressLily. But life took a different turn for me. Very abruptly, in fact.
(Similar women long coat)
Here’s the story: My really amazing friend, Danielle, picks up my kids from school every day and keeps them for an hour until I am finished at work. I went to gather the boys just after 4:00 p.m. as usual. Danielle and I sat and chatted for about 45 minutes before I headed home. I was tired and hangry. Like really, really hangry. There was a slice of sausage pizza leftover from last night that I had quite literally been thinking about all day. It was going to be the best way to end a very long and very exhausting day coming off a very long and very exhausting day the previous day.
But alas, my kids kind of suck. I say that with all the love in my heart. But I am keeping it real. And I am drunk. My kids really do kind of suck sometimes. A lot of times, actually, at this stage of the game. And I have no shame or remorse in saying it to you. I won’t say it to them. That may cause too much damage in years to come. So I am just going to say it right here, right now, unfiltered and shameless. My. Kids. Suck. The. Life. Out. Of. Me. But I suppose that is what they are supposed to do, right? If they didn’t, I may not be doing this mom thing properly.
So back to that sausage pizza. It’s all I wanted really. All day long. Then Archie, my 7 year old, spotted it in the fridge. I could hear the excitement in his voice when he saw it and he gasped. And my heart sank. My poor hangry heart knew exactly what was coming. He wanted that pizza. And how do you deny them? These little annoying dependent creatures whose life came from you? So I compromised, as moms do. It was a rather substantial slice of pizza. I heated it up and cut it in half. We sat down to eat it. I was happy. For a moment. Two bites in, Ralph, my 6 year old entered the dining room wondering what we were eating. And my heart sank even lower. Could he have a bite? He didn’t just want “a bite”, my mom guts told me. He wanted the whole damn thing. And he is a relentless creature. So after he broke me down, I gave up. I had four bites of my pizza at this point and the fight was just not worth it. They are stronger than I.
So I gave them both the pizza. That glorious greasy slice of heaven that I had craved all day. I just handed it over to these two miniature terrorists. But not without losing my freaking mind first. I think I dropped the eff bomb a half dozen times in my fury of hunger and frustration. They didn’t even blink. They sat there merrily enjoying MY pizza. So on a very empty stomach (I had only had my breakfast shake and a granola bar all day long), I poured half a bottle of Pinot Grigio into a glass and I chugged it down like water. Meal replacement. And now I am drunk. And I still want pizza.
So while I may often look like I’ve got it all together, I can sometimes suck as a mom. Thankfully, my husband is here to maintain control when I lose it. Just as I maintain control when he has had quite enough. Mom life is no joke. And I am not necessarily proud of my behavior on this Thursday evening, but I also have no shame in it either. It is what it is. And I like to keep it real. So I am going to finish this here little blog post up and leave you with my weekly link up where I may have quite possibly gone off the edge.
Stay real, my friends. And share your favorite drink recipes with me…I need a bit of variety in this mom life!
And now your featured favorites from last week.
Laurie of Vanity and Me shared her post, Rokit Vintage Dress – A Trip Down Memory Lane. Simply gorgeous, my friend.
Chanda of Birth of a Fashion Blogger shared her post, Getting Back on the Horse. Looking fabulous in your workout wear and inspiring me all along the way, my friend!
Going off the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
P.S. As I am finishing this post and scheduling it to publish in the morning, my children are bringing to me my kitchen bowls filled with dirt and worms and centipedes. Dear God, help me!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
53 Comments
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
You are an amazing person, mom, and writer! I hope today is better and you get your pizza!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ha! Thanks, Tamar! I never wrote while intoxicated before! It was quite the experience. I hope I didn’t leave out any words. Have a fantastic weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Deborah Stinedurf
There are few things worse than knowing that something fabulous is waiting for you in the ‘fridge and when you get there it’s gone! Talk about irrational anger…lol! Your realness is one of my most favorite things about you my friend. Oh the stories I could tell you about when my son was little! Not my finest moments for sure, but the mom life is rough sometimes and if anyone says it isn’t, they’re lying. Go get yourself a sausage pizza this weekend, lock yourself in a room and eat the whole damn thing! xo
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Debbie, thank you so much for this comment! I am overwhelmed by the response to my drunken post right now! But it is all making me smile to know that I have such a supportive community. And thank God for my husband who literally just picked up the ball where I dropped it and he let me go hide away in my drunken anger while he did homework, made dinner, gave baths, and put the kids to bed. He is such a blessing as are all of you. I am eating pizza this weekend, for sure! I hope you have a wonderful weekend as well, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Chanda
Unapologetically you! I love it and that’s the way we all should be! I can say that I’ve wanted to wrap my hands around the necks of my 2 NUMEROUS times, even with the boy being 19 (even more than ever now, LOL). Keep pressing my friend and I will be looking for those drink recipes right along with you!
Thank you for the feature this week – completely unexpected but humbly appreciated! 🙂
Have a great weekend (and get that pizza girl!)
xx, Chanda
http://www.mschanda.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Chanda, thank you SO much for sharing this comment! Seriously, I am so glad to know that I am not alone in this struggle. They do have a way of making our blood boil unlike any other thing on earth! These strange little creatures that we birth and then we are expected to ensure that they become decent human beings all the while they are brining out the worst in us! Ha. I am getting pizza tonight for sure! Have a fantastic weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Julie | This Main Line Life
Ha, ha, ha… I’ve totally been there and I can say my kids suck sometimes too… my daughter is deep into the hateful teen things and I just want to wring her little neck sometimes, but I’d totally give them that last slice of pizza too.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Julie, thank you so much for this comment! I totally just chuckled out loud! I am so glad that I shared because now I know that I am not the only one! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
My kids suck the life out of me too and they are 16 and 13! Lol! I’ve had to learn to put more boundaries in place so I can be happy too. It’s a process and I’m sure one that I will finally get after they get out of the house. Love this coat and thanks for the link up!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kathrine, thank you so much for sharing your struggle with me! Sometimes, I feel like a horrible person! So it is nice to know that I am not alone in this parenting struggle. I mean, my husband knows the struggle for sure. And thank God for him! Last night, he just picked up the ball right where I dropped it and finished out the night while mommy was drunk! LOL. Have a fantastic weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
Well Shelbee if you didn’t love those boys so much you wouldn’t have shared that pizza at all – you would have hid in the bathroom and had the whole slice yourself! I say order another pizza tonight and enjoy my friend!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Kellyann! I have hidden in the bathroom all too many times in order to avoid sharing food with my children! But there is something inherently gross about eating in the bathroom! LOL. Have a great weekend, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
You are the best mom and I love that you keep it real on the blog! I hope you have a better day and a wonderful weekend! I love your loafers and fishnet socks! So cute!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jill! The struggle is real, some days. Most days, actually! I hope you have a lovely weekend as well!
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
There are days when I would take the first train out of town! Hope your weekend is peaceful and free of centipedes and worms!
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am so glad that I am not alone on this, Mireille! Thank you so much for relating! I am actually heading out of town for the night and leaving the children with the husband! Sweet, glorious solitude!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laurie
Haha! You should order two pizzas for that Shelbee! You deserve it! Thanks for featuring xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Laurie! I just might! And I’m not gonna share either! Have a great weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Sorry if I am laughing but it happens all the time in my house. My 23-year-old daughter is good about replacing food stuff but my 21-year-old son has a lot of problems in that regard. There have been many times that I have had something in the fridge and I have thought about it all day and when I get home it is gone. Yesterday was a good example of that. I left work early feeling like crap and I know there is a huge full container of orange juice and about eight Hawaiian sweet rolls at home (I checked before I left in the morning). I come home and both are gone. The packages sitting in the recycling bin. WTF. I texted him a nasty text and his response was he was hungry and thirsty. It is like he lives in his world and when he does bring food home like pizza, he writes on it “only take one slice” or his name on it. GRRRRR.
I now know why tigers sometimes eat their young.
Thanks for hosting and trust me, it gets more interesting as they older.
Looking great and I hope that you have a wonderful weekend.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Patrick, thank you for sharing the struggle with me. Kids are something else! And I completely laughed out loud when I read “I now know why tigers sometimes eat their young”! Yeah, because they are freaking hungry and it’s apparently the only way to get my damn pizza back…just eat my young who ate my pizza! Maybe we need to put locks on our refrigerators!
Have a great weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jessica
Lol…I have a feeling this is a glimpse into my future. I have a 21 month old son so I’m not at that stage yet but I’m sure I will be. There’s nothing worse than looking forward to eating something only to find out you can’t have it. But you are a good mom for sharing your pizza!
~Jessica
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Jessica! And yes, it is a little glimpse of what’s to come for you. Have you hidden in the bathroom to eat a piece of candy or a cupcake yet to avoid having to share? It is not so much that I don’t want to share with them in those cases, it is more that I don’t want them to eat all that junk and I am the adult and can have whatever I want! But I need to lead by example and not let them see me eating it while I deny it to them. Makes perfect mom sense, right?! Have a great weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
Aww, Shelbee, you are a wonderful mother for many reasons, not least of which giving up your slice of pizza (which, by the way, sounds amazing and now has me craving pizza). I hope you eventually got something to eat!
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Cheryl. I ended up eating leftover nachos and a giant bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream covered in crushed up Girl Scout Thin Mints, whipped cream, and sprinkles! Because, you know, I gave up the last slice of pizza so I decided to go over board with the ice cream. And I was drunk and had the drunchies. Ha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jacob
you just made my day saying you re drunk. I cant stop laughing
new post
https://www.melodyjacob.com/2019/04/the-best-days-of-week-to-party.html
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Melody! I am glad that I made you laugh. That was the response I was hoping for by keeping it so real. Have a fabulous day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lizzie
Aww this made me chuckle but I’m sure many moms can identify with this. In my case, my “kid” is my husband and you better believe that I feel the same way when he eats my leftover slice of pizza that I have been craving and daydreaming about all day lol. I’m sure I do the same to him at times too. But really, this just shows how much love you have for your kids <3 I say order a whole pizza for yourself as reward!
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lizzie, thanks so much. And yeah, if my husband ate the last slice I might have been even angrier! But he knows better. Hahaha. I did get some pizza last night and I was kid free so it was so totally delicious!
xoxo
Shelbee
Suzanne
I wish I lived closer my friend, I’d bring you over a loaded pizza AND a bottle of wine and sit and dish on the week 🙂 In fact, why not just order one up for yourself right now? Love how you keep it real!
xx
Suzanne
http://www.AskSuzanneBell.com
PS YOU ARE AN AWESOME MOM! XOXO
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Suzanne, thank you SO much! I did get myself some pizza last night…with some vodka on the side! Ha. And no kids around so every single bite was spectacularly delicious! And a pizza and wine night dishing with wonderful girlfriends sounds glorious!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura
What a real post! Sometimes I don’t mind sharing as a mother, and sometimes I do! I hope you eventually get your pizza, and soon!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Laura! I did eat some pizza last night…with no kids around. And it was spectacular!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
You scared the hell out of me. I thought something really bad had happened! Okay, being denied of a delicious slice of pizza is pretty bad, but allas! Haha, you are such a fun woman! Happy weekend love!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh no, Nancy! I am so sorry that I scared you. That was definitely not my intent. My intent was to make you laugh! Hahaha. Thanks for reading, my friend. You are super fun, too! Love ya!
xoxo
Shelbee
The Real Cie
My son and I sometimes pick up the $5 Papa Murphy’s thin crust pepperoni pizzas on Friday. We usually get three of them so we’ll have three meals out of them. Money is so tight right now it isn’t even funny, so this is kind of a treat.
I can hang with worms and dirt, but centipedes? Oh, hell to the no! I used to live in this wretched basement apartment where centipedes would get in. I hate those things!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Cie, I hear you on ordering extra pizzas! That is what we do when we do order pizza…get enough for leftovers. Because who doesn’t love leftover pizza?! But dang, ordering pizza can get expensive, can’t it? As for worms and centipedes and all creepy crawly things…I wonder what I did to be so blessed to have boys who love these things…and they love to throw them on my desk unsuspectingly while I am work. Then they laugh and laugh when I scream! I do hate those quick footed centipedes, too. Oh they are nasty little things! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your parenting experience!
xoxo
Shelbee
Helen C.
Beautiful writing! I have been wondering lately about motherhood.. Why we want to be mothers? It sucks(although a few admit it, hehe), it gives you zero ¨me-time¨ and there is no logical explanation on about wanting to change like this your life. But women do it all the time. Apart from social pressure for us to procreate or repeating what we learn as normal or biology, I just can´t explain it with logic. But I still know I´d love to have children, and posts like this, I don´t know why, but it makes it all have sense 🙂
Hugs
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Helen, I often wonder these same things. And I hope my ranting about my children was not insensitive to those who struggle to have children. While these tiny little human creatures can drive us mad, I cannot imagine my life any other way at this point. We become responsible for developing them into worthy human beings and I feel like I fail daily, but still we must push forward and do the best we can. It is not a logical yearning to have children, I suppose it is just an innate need to continue the human race. Maybe. I have no idea really. What I do know is that it is quite the journey…navigating our way through parenthood just as clueless as the next person! Sending you lots of hugs and prayers, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Sincerely, Jennie
My parents used to have a special snack cabinet that they kept theirs away from us kids, so we wouldn’t eat them all! My friends think that’s crazy, but as an adult, I totally get it!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I love it, Jennie! I totally hide snacks from my kids, too…way up in high cabinets that they can’t reach! Thanks for sharing and have the most wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Molly
They are indeed absolutely mind blowingly exhausting and SUCK so much!. Mine are 19 and 15 now and love them to pieces but them becoming independent has been a hugely positive thing for me and in many ways my relationship with them too
Mollyx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Molly, I cannot even tell you how grateful I am to you for this comment! I often think I am so not cut out for this mom thing! People say I will miss these days when my children become independent, but I’m not so sure that I will. I can’t wait to be an empty nester! Ha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
What a fabulously honest post Shelbee. We scarcely ever read about real life in the picture perfect world of social media. But real life can be sucky and we all lose our rag with the kids or partner, and seek solace in wine, chocolate or whatever floats our boat! Hope you will get your own big slice of the pizza very soon. Thanks for joining #WowOnWednesday!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Gail, thank you so much! It is kind of scary to put the ugly out there into the perfection of social media. Plus I also don’t like to share ugliness anyway. I guess this kind of ugly was more for finding the humor in it all! If you can’t laugh at life, you might be pretty much doomed! And I ate way too much pizza over the weekend that now I am regretting it! Haha. Have a wonderful day, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Anna at Muttonstyle
Such a lovely honest post. At least they couldn’t hijack the wine from you. Yes maybe still do suck the life out and they’re adults!
Thanks for linking up
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Anna, thanks so much! I bet they will start hijacking the wine when they are teenagers! Ha. I guess it will have to go under lock and key at that point. I hope you have a wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Claire Justine
Sorry to hear you did not get the pizza you had been craving for all day. I can just imagine how your were feeling. I think I would have had the wine too 🙂 P.s I really want pizza now!!
Thanks for sharing at Creative Mondays 🙂 Hope you can join us tomorrow.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks, Claire! I ended up over indulging in pizza that entire weekend after! I gained like 5 pounds from it. Ha. Have a wonderful week!
xoxo
Shelbee
Anna Shirley
Once again, you made me laugh so hard. o)))) Yes, this is reality of the motherhood, which nobody tell you before you got children. Friends keep this hidden before you till you are on the same boat and it is too late. Even all those shinny so positive books about motherhood you red before you got children, no mention about these things either. Yes, the raw truth is that motherhood sucks sometimes. o)))) Thank you for your honest post, Shelbee.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my goodness, Anna, this comment just made me laugh so hard, too! It is so nice to know that one is not alone in this weird motherhood struggle! Such a crazy thing, isn’t it? And no one does prepare you. I think they just laugh at you when you decide to have kids because we are all so unsuspecting of what lies ahead! It’s like a great joke of the universe. Ha. Thanks so much for reading and relating. I hope you have a wonderful day.
xoxo
Shelbee
Mica
I laughed so much at your story! I’ve never blogged drunk, but I have ‘shared’ my food with the kids and left myself feeling very hungry indeed afterwards, haha! I can never say no to them though!
Thank you so much for joining the #weekdayWearLinkUp 🙂
Hope that your week is going well and you have a great Easter weekend 🙂
Away From The Blue
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Mica, thanks so much! I am so glad that I gave you a good laugh…because you can relate to it so well! Kids! I had never blogged drunk before either. It was quite the experience. I hope your weekend is fabulous!
xoxo
Shelbee
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