The Great Underwear Debacle: Chasing the Perfect Panties
Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend…a conversation about underwear.
*There will be no pictures of underwear or me in my underwear in this post…just the insane musings of a twisted up girl wearing yet another kimono and some ill-fitting underwear.
The conversation began with me complaining about the price of underwear and how my children hate to wear underwear. To be clear, I insist that my kids wear underwear to school. But on the weekends and during summer vacation, it is not a fight worth fighting. I figure when they are teenagers, it’s not going to much matter what I say. If they choose not to wear underwear at that age, I can’t really make them.
In any event, my 7 year old had completely outgrown his underwear to the point that the waistband was leaving red indentations in his skin. So I headed off to Target to get underwear in the right size. He is a boxers kind of boy. Boxer briefs he finds too tight in the thigh area and he just doesn’t like traditional briefs at all. The problem is that plain old cotton boxers in boy sizes are really, really difficult to find. There are basically those 3 choices in boys’/men’s underwear, so I don’t quite understand why the one style is so incredibly rare. I finally found some boxers on a clearance rack in his size, but the legs were enormous! I don’t even know how they would fit inside his skinny little pants. So I brought home two packs of boxer briefs and I am hoping they will suffice. After all, he only wears them during school…the first thing he does upon arriving home is remove his underwear…sort of like we women immediately remove our bras!
As I was airing my complaints about the male underwear market, it quickly opened a deluge of my frustrations about women’s underwear. There are too many choices, in my opinion. Boys have traditional briefs, boxers, or boxer briefs with the occasional thong for the more provocative man/boy types. Women’s underwear ranges from string bikinis to thongs to high waisted bikinis to high leg bikinis to high waisted briefs to high leg briefs to low cut briefs to boy shorts to hipsters and the list continues. In fact, I just found this list of 24 Types of Underwear for Women to Impress Men. First, I need to be clear, I do not choose my underwear on their ability to impress men! No way, no how, not gonna happen. (Well, occasionally it happens, but those “special” underwear are reserved for the bedroom and do not see my butt cheeks on the daily.) For the most part, I choose my underwear based on their comfortability.
Twenty-four different styles of underwear to choose from! Now let’s discuss the fabric content…cotton, silk, satin, polyester, spandex, lace, mesh…that list also seems to go on forever. Then sizing. Dear God, someone please explain to me the sizing of women’s underwear. Size 4, size 5, sizes 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10. I fall somewhere between a size 6 and a 9 depending on the brand. Unless it is a plus size brand with their own unique sizing of 0-6…because I need that confusion added to the mix. To be perfectly honest, I simply cannot get it right…even after forty plus years of wearing underwear on a daily basis. They are either too big or too small, they give me a wedgie, a twedgie (you can figure out that one on your own), they roll down under my belly, or they just literally fall right off (yes, that happened the other day during my morning walk, my underwear fell right down inside my leggings). I guess I need half sizes or something. And you can’t really try them on for a day to see if they work out for you. Once you buy them and wear them, they’re yours. And again, they are damn expensive. You can’t really resell them on Poshmark or Tradesy either. (Well, I guess there is a fetish market for used underwear…but probably not the style of underwear I would have to sell. Nor would I really want to. Umm…weird. Hmmm…there might be money to be made there though. See…insane musings of a twisted up girl.) I have a drawer full of uncomfortable underwear. And it just occurred me during this recent venting session that I have spent my entire life chasing the perfect panties. I think they may be quite like unicorns. And if I ever do find them, I am going to capture them all!
Am I alone in this great underwear debacle? Have any of you been chasing the perfect panties for a lifetime? I will take recommendations, if you are willing to offer them up. I cannot stand having my panties in a bunch any longer!
Chasing panties on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
51 Comments
Jodie
It’s funny how everyone wants something different from their underwear. Let’s just say my mom and I are very different in our “perfect” pair!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Seriously, Jodie, I cannot figure it all out! I just want something cotton and comfortable that stays in place without rolling, sliding, riding, or anything else! Forty-four years old and I have yet to find “the perfect panties”!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
Yup, you’re right fighting with the boys over wearing underwear isn’t worth it. My youngest skipped underwear one day (unbeknownst to me) when he had his annual pediatrician’s appointment. Well, once the doctor told his to “drop his drawers” he responded “I’d rather not.” I was shocked – my sweet boy was refusing? The doctor, bless his heart, knew better and said “not wearing underwear, huh?” I almost died but lesson learned! Life is the best teacher.
So underwear are difficult for me. They’re either too small or too big and I HATE pantylines. The ones I’l loving now are one size from the brand Chantelle. I like the briefs best because they cover my tummy! They are super comfy and no lines!!! I get them at Nordstrom or Dillard’s. They are a little pricey but worth it. I had a drawer full of underwear I hated. They will be on sale during the big NSale for like $12 a pair. Check them out!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, you have no idea how happy this comment made me! Knowing that I am not alone in the struggle with boys and their underwear! Hahaha. And also knowing that I am not alone in the struggle with my own underwear. I like when they come up high over my tummy, too, but then they have a tendency to roll down which is super annoying and uncomfortable. I will have to look into these ones that you like. Thanks so much for sharing!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
These don’t roll down!!! You have to try them, I swear they’re great!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am making a list of all these recommendations and I think I may try them all! Thanks again!
Shelbee
Robin
Several years ago I walked into a Soma outlet store….my panty life was changed FOREVER!!!! I found this one called Vanishing tummy, which also has a vanishing edge…I was skeptical about spending $$$ on panties! They are soooo worth the money! I only bought one pair the first time, I went back to store and bought 5 more the day after I wore them for the first time! I ❤️ them! They stay in place all day! I get the high leg brief vanishing tummy variety. The vanishing edge is amazing…the panty stays in place all day! Soma hit the mark on this one, for me. Good luck!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Robin, thank you so very much for sharing this information with me! There are so many brands and styles, one often doesn’t even know where to begin looking. I will be checking these out as well. Maybe I will go buy one pair each of every kind recommended, then write a great big comprehensive underwear comparison/review!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill Foley
This is funny and too true! I can get the exacty same style and size of underwear, but certain colors or patterns work better than others. What’s up with that? Sometimes I just opt for the style that is supposed to give you the wedgie so I can just relax and not try to fix anything.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my goodness, Jill! I hear you…loud and clear. The same exact packs of underwear in different patterns will end up having different waist band styles or something. And the purposeful wedgie…I used to do that way back when my husband had a motorcycle. I would always get the worst wedgie riding on that thing, so I just started wearing thongs whenever we would ride. It made it way easier and no adjustments were needed. Except I still find thongs a bit uncomfortable. Thanks for sharing your experience with me!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jessica A Jannenga
Hi Shelbee
Just by reading, I knew i might be in for a laugh. I need it , thank you! I was just snickering at the fact tha ty ou said there were 24 types of women’s underwear. I honestly did not know this! and I too, do not choose underwear for men. I choose it for my own comfort! 🙂 I think I finally found a great bra, so when thinking about underwear I do like hanky panky or VS Lacie. I used to never understand how women wear thongs, as i thought they were so uncomfortable, but I find these to be great. I agree too, like with Robin, about spending $$$ on undies, but you have to be comfortable, so its worth it.
Have a fabulous week, friend!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jess, thanks so much for sharing your preferred undies. I am going to try all of these recommended styles, I think, and compare and analyze! Hopefully, I will find something that changes my life! I am so glad that I gave you a good chuckle as well. I definitely had that as a goal as well as trying to find the perfect panties.
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy Baten
Ha ha ha, what a fun post! Am I the only one without any problems? And who doesn’t wear comfortable underwear? I wear strings and never have a problem with them. Perhaps that will come yet!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nancy, thanks so much! I think you may definitely be one of the few without panty problems! So now I may have to go back and try some string bikinis for every day wear and see if I like them. I suspect I won’t, but I am open-minded and willing to try at this point!
xoxo
Shelbee
Melissa @ Loving Life Moore
You are NOT alone! I have the worst time finding comfortable and discreet undies for everyday. Sigh. Why can’t these things just be simple?! I prefer to go with Aerie for cost, but I’m VS for quality. I just found a new company called True & Co. though, and their stuff is pretty nice for underthings, too!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Melissa, thanks for sharing your panty preferences! And I have no idea why these things cannot be simple. One would think the matter of underthings would be easier…but it just isn’t. It took me until I was 42 to find the perfect bra. And what a game changer that was. So now if only I could find the perfect panties, life would be golden! I am totally going to check out some of these suggestions and post a comparison guide of sorts…at some point. It will probably take a while though, I suspect.
xoxo
Shelbee
Susan
Just My size brand white cotton panties at Walmart. They come in regular and plus sizes, and are $12.99 for six pair.
I haven’t worn anything else for the last ten years. God, how sad does that sound? Whatevs, I swear by these panties.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
That does not sound sad at all, Susan! That sounds like the words of a perfectly contented woman wearing comfortable underwear! Not my status at this point in life, but I am going to try out all of these panty suggestions until I find my perfect pair! Thanks for sharing!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tanya Wallace
Oooh you’re speaking my language. Like you, I just want comfortable cotton undies that stay in place. Loath undies that creep up on me like a doctor’s appointment! My drawer is full of undies that got sacked for poor performance.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Tanya, thank you so much for this comment! It made me chuckle…that you have sacked your underwear for poor performance! That is the contents of my underwear drawer as well. I don’t want creeping underwear either. I am about to start a serious underwear research project here! I will share the results at some undetermined time in the future.
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura || Walking in Memphis in High Heels
I swear you can definitely have a huge debate on the underwear! Everyone is so different, I prefer cotton and definitely ones that stay in place!! I always feel like with dresses you run into the rolling or moving problem, not even taking into account the panty lines. Ugh! So crazy! You’re not alone!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laura, thanks for joining the underwear discussion! The rolling is the worst! I find that happens all too often with the control or shaping underwear. It doesn’t even seem to matter how high they come up, they still roll! I am determined to find some comfy, unrollable, non-wedgie, stable underwear!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nina
Fun topic! I’m still in search! Hugs! Nina
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Nina! I think I need to write a huge underwear review after I try all the recommendations! Maybe it will help you out as well.
xoxo
Shelbee
ADA
You are hilarious and super real as always. I have a love+hate relationship with wearing underwear (I always wear them, I hate not having undies on) but I mean not every pair is comfy; and the same relationship with buying them cause it is difficult to get the best or the right pair. I just went through my underwear drawer last week and got rid of so many and some I was iffy about, I tried them on. Of course I had to keep some cute and sexy ones for the guy to see but yeah it is hard to feel comfortable in underwear.
Anyhow, another gorgeous kimono and another cute outfit!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ada, thanks for sharing your personal underwear story! It really is a struggle, right? Finding the perfect panties. I mean, I keep the cute, sexy, uncomfortable ones on hand as well…every girl needs those just in case. It’s the every day underwear that present such a horrible challenge. It shouldn’t be that difficult!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lisa D.
This had me laughing. Yes I think we all suffer. I have some “sexy” bedroom panties but you will not see me buying everyday panties at Victoria Secrets at 12.50 a pair! Oh no no. Just take me a Walmart and Ill grab a 5 pack of Haynes cotton bikinis and toss in my buggy.
Lisa
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lisa, thanks so much! I definitely need to hit Walmart soon for some good sturdy cotton bikinis! I am glad I could give you a chuckle along the way!
xoxo
Shelbee
Berni
hahahaha. I empathise! In the UK sizing tens to be 8,10, 12, 14 etc etc but sometimes its 8/10, 12/14 16/18 others its 6/8, 10/12 14/16 and then theres the S/M/L/XL ranges. All shops vary in their cut too so a 12 from one shop will not be the same size as a 12 from another. In fact the more expensive the shop the smaller the amount of material they give to the size! And then theres my recent purchase of ‘everyday’ wear knickers which i have discovered are unable to meet the basic requirement of a knicker and that is TO STAY UP. In trousers they’re bad enough – by the time i get home they’re hanging down my thighs dangling across the crutch. In a skirt of dress i have been known to either walk with my knees together or to discretely step out of them and carry on walking !!! #blogcrush
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my goodness, Berni! I am laughing so hard right now at your description of these failed panties in your skirt! I have such an image in my head that is just so hilarious! Thank you so much for sharing your great underwear debacle with me! I am glad that I am not the only one tormented by these underwear problems! I will find the perfect panties one day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lucy At Home
Do you know, I’ve never thought about this before but yes – I too am still chasing the dream of perfect pants! And I loved this comment “even after forty plus years of wearing underwear on a daily basis.” – that really made me giggle. #blogcrush
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lucy, thanks so much for stopping by! I am glad I cold give you a chuckle. It is quite ridiculous though, isn’t it, that after 40 plus years of wearing underwear, I still haven’t found the perfect pair!? Ugh. Truly first world problems, I suppose.
xoxo
Shelbee
jacqui berry
I feel your pain Shelbee. Thanks for joining me on #chicandstylish #linkup Jacqui Mummabstylish
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Jacqui! I actually have an underwear collaboration coming soon to the blog! Fingers crossed that they are the perfect ones!
xoxo
Shelbee
Marilee Gramith
I’m with your sons!! The only time I wear undies is when I’m wearing a dress or I’m going shopping and might try something on. Hey! Perhaps you can invent a perfect design and make your million!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh, that is great, Jude! I wish I could just be done with underwear altogether, but I am not there yet! The perfectly patented panties…yes..I should add that to my to-do list, for sure!
xoxo
Shelbee
Rebecca Greenway
This!!! I have a constant battle with not only underwear but clothes in general. I get so overwhelmed underwear shopping for myself BUT all the kids have so much more! I relate to this so much!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rebecca, thanks for sharing your experience…I am glad to know that I am not alone in this underwear struggle. I could shop all day for clothes, but underwear…man they annoy me!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jean | DelightfulRepast.com
When you narrow the field to the best possibility, buy one, wash and wear it for a day. If you like it, go back to the store immediately and buy a dozen more. Then you’re all set for several years!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jean, this might be the best advice ever! I always end up buying the 5 packs and then I hate them and I am stuck with 5 pairs of failed underwear. Thank you so much for the suggestion! I am going to try this next.
xoxo
Shelbee
Rebecca Smith
This post was a refreshing read and made me giggle and nod in agreement. I have only worn thongs for the last 20+ years and when buying undies for my 13 yr old daughter cannot believe the choice…quite bewildering!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rebecca, thank you so much for sharing your underwear perspective! A lot of women have commented that they prefer thongs. Maybe I need to give them a second chance!
xoxo
Shelbee
Rosie
I totally get you on this. My boy is 8 and hates wearing underwear. In the summer months, I don’t mind if he ‘lets loose’. I found the perfect panties a few years ago -boy shorts are the way to go for me! #BlogCrush
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rosie, thanks so much for sharing your underwear experience! I totally let my boys fly free in the summer time, too! I do like boy shorts, but I haven’t found super comfy ones yet. I have found some that I can tolerate. But I’ll keep trying!
xoxo
Shelbee
juliet brown
Well if there are 24 kinds of ladies knickers imagine how many types of unicorn there might be – high leg unicorn, low leg unicorn, sharp pointed unicorn, blunt pointed unicorn, curly tailed unicorn, sleek tailed….. yep, knickers – difficult things
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my gosh, Juliet, you win the prize for the absolute best comment on my blog this month! I do love unicorns and chase them just as avidly as I have been chasing the perfect panties! And one day, I will find both. Thank you for the great huge smile!
xoxo
Shelbee
daydreams of a mum
Oh Shelbee this post really made me giggle. My problem is that sizes vary so much between shops you can buy your size in one shop and have them fall down your leggings (Have also been there) …the next shop..exact same size ..you can’t pull up over your thighs !!
Congrats that someone chose this post as their #blogcrush
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kelly, thank you so much! You also made me giggle a bit. I am glad I am not the only woman who has ever lost her panties down in her leggings! So ridiculous! I have some new undies on the way for a review on my blog. My fingers are crossed that they will solve all my problems!
xoxo
Shelbee
Emma Peach
I’m glad to know it’s not just me then! Finding the perfect pants is harder than finding the perfect pair of jeans – and that’s saying something! I bought some pants over ten years ago that I love – yep, still have them! Problem is I can’t find any like them anywhere. When they finally have to go in the bin I will be bereft! I often just wear thongs because I figure if it’s going to give me a wedgie it may as well be as small as possible! It seems that when it comes to pants it’s either a wedgie or a VPL. I have so much underwear that I don’t wear clogging up my drawers!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Emma, thanks so much for sharing your underpants experience! It really is a struggle. So many have commented that they go for thongs, too. I may have to revisit thongs! I actually just ordered a pair of thongs and briefs from a new brand to review on my blog. Maybe these will solve all my problems! A girl can hope, right? Stay tuned for that!
xoxo
Shelbee
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