The Fab 40’s Meet My Inner Child
All too often it happens that we lose touch with the innocence and whimsy of the inner child that is the foundation upon which our adult selves have evolved. When that connection between inner child and responsible adult falters, life will just start killing you at too rapid a pace. As we get older and more and more obligations pile on, it becomes very easy to get disconnected from that childlike joy that was once the only kind of living we knew. You know, when we were actual children. Carefree and cared for, playful and guileless, spontaneous and absolutely inside every moment.
Moral compasses are passed down like heirlooms and the values of our parents and their parents are spoon fed to us with every meal. After a few short years of coddling and a little bit of training, we are abruptly shoved from the nest and forced not only to try out our fragile and immature wings but we are also compelled to challenge everything we have been taught and everything we believe. We need to test our inherited value systems against the big scary world to see if they actually work for us.
Many times we discover that the ideals we were taught are actually not our own ideals at all. This is where the true quest begins. We need to shed the protective layers of our upbringing with all of its arbitrary standards and principles and create our own personalized value systems. Every day that we exist in this world, we need to question and analyze these systems that we have implemented to ensure that they remain adequate representations of who we are at our very core. When we realize that a certain system is failing, we are required to make necessary changes or else we sacrifice our true happiness. When we become too disconnected from our pure selves, it can send our spirit into a vortex of negative energy. Getting reacquainted with that unscathed child within, that is where our true joy resides.
When we try to force ourselves into tiny little boxes that someone else has crafted, a complete loss of identity can and will result. If we lose our identities, we don’t really have much left to drive us forward. It is our identities that dictate where we go, with whom we go, and what we do along the way. While our identities are born with us in our infant forms, they continue to evolve with us through childhood into adulthood and directly up to the point at which our life ceases.
We are always in a constant state of evolution. Like any form of growth and progression, the process must be one that transcends and includes the foundation and everything that is built upon it. In this transcendence, we must always stay in touch with the beginning…the child whom we left behind, the essence of our own identity. We cannot forget these things because without the foundation we have nothing.
Because the child is the first manifestation of ourselves, the child will always remain. It is a fundamental aspect that permeates the entire infrastructure of our being. Trying to erase it or ignore it or simply push it aside and forget about it is suicide of sorts. You cannot pull the bottom out without everything else on top shattering into a heap of broken pieces and shattered dreams. We absolutely are required to recognize and accept our inner child, but that is not always enough. In order to live and live joyfully, we must also indulge and nourish that child as if we birthed it ourselves. That inner child also demands our respect because it is the child who actually gives birth to the adult as we grow and change and evolve from that very first day of life.
When Suzy declared this month’s Fab 40’s theme as the Inner Child, I was super excited. Like a child. Really all it takes for me to reconnect with my inner child is a brief and impetuous reminder that she is alive and well, waiting patiently for me to invite her out to play. So I grabbed my best dress, abundant with layers of tulle and satin and bustles and bows, and I paired it with my favorite denim jacket and most beloved paired of Converse. Of course, my inner child wanted nothing more than frilly ankle socks shyly peeking out from beneath all the grown up frills. And then I piled on more ribbons and flowers and whatever else caught my fancy in that moment.
Void of concern about the sideways glances of passers-by and without worry that I may muss my dress, I took to the park and sat in the grass and twirled around, swishing my skirts with artless insouciance. I smiled and I giggled and threw all caution to the wind. For just a few brief moments in time, I was caught inside the splendid universe of my inner child. It was glorious. It was invigorating. And it was incredibly healing.
Let’s take a look at how all of my whimsical Fab 40’s friends have reconnected with their inner child.
The Fab 40’s is a group of five fashion bloggers from around the globe. Each month we choose a different theme and invite a guest blogger who is also in their 40’s to join us. This group’s goal is to take on style trends and show how we each interpret and incorporate them into our own lives. With five widely varied views, you are certain to find something that speaks to you each month and encourages you to continue to have fun with fashion after the age of 40.
Suzy of Suzy Turner Books & Style listened to the songs of her inner child as they whispered supernatural stories of magic and love and the power of friendship and loyalty. Inspired by Harry Potter, Suzy has brought her inner child out to play in this wonderful concoction of sequins and sass and enchanted owls. And look at that stunning glow on Suzy’s face as she feels that reconnection with the innocence of her inner child.
Outfit Details: Harry Potter Tee & wand-Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Universal Studios, Orlando / Harry Potter bag-Primark (gift from friends) / Skirt-H&M / Shoes-Local shoe shop / Crochet cardigan-Local shop / Necklace, rings & bracelets-gifts from mother-in-law / Earrings-Bijou Brigitte / Snitch-gift from in-laws / Harry Potter hot water bottle-Primark (gift from friend)
Daenel of Living Outside the Stacks had a moment of nostalgia as she reminisced about her favorite childhood dress. That very special one, in a vibrant shade of red, with layers and embroidery, the dress that made you feel like your entire life was a fantasy. You could be whomever you wanted just by swathing yourself in a bit of grown up fancy. Wearing a floral embroidered top that brought the memories of that cherished dress back to life, Daenel is the most beautiful image of a woman who knows how to remain connected to the whimsy of her inner child.
Dee of Dee Sayz has rekindled her relationship with her inner child, the nerdy one she says, who loved to wear shorts more than anything. With a grown up twist on her youthful fancy, Dee has showcased the perfect balance between mature sophistication and childlike simplicity.
Outfit Details: Top-Local Market, Delhi / Shorts-H&M / Platforms-Aldo
Sheela of Sheela Writes has brought her inner child out to play as she yearns for a magical wonderland filled with fairy folk and enchantment spells, talking animals and heroic quests. In her playful contrivance, she has created a spellbinding combination of velvet and pleats and bewitching charisma.
Outfit Details: Sneakers-gift from boyfriend / Everything else-Thrifted
And now it’s my turn. I am not certain if I am tapping into the really little girl who loved to play dress up in my grandmother’s closet or if I am revisiting that quiet teenager who wanted to be quirky and wear cool things like sneakers with my prom dress. But whichever stratus of my youth I was reaching for, I sure did have a blast bringing that kid out to play even for just a little while.
Outfit Details (everything as shopped from my closet): Dress-David’s Bridal / Jacket-Lane Bryant / Sneakers-Converse / Socks-Amazon / Accessories are all super old
Isn’t it strange how when we are children we want ever so much to be grown up and independent but once we reach adulthood, we yearn always to return to the carefree innocence of childhood? Well, there is no better time than right now to invite your inner child out for a little while. What are you going to play?
Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Parties.
Shop my look…
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
31 Comments
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
This shoot was so fun!!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Tamar! It was a lot of fun!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
This dress is amazing!
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jennifer! I bought this dress almost 10 years ago for an Army formal and then I got pregnant and it didn’t fit and I really never got the chance to wear it. I was excited to bring it out for this post!
xoxo
Shelbee
Ellibelle
Such a great post, Shelbee and gorgeous gown! Glad you got a chance to wear it! Love it with the sneakers!
It’s so important to stay in touch with our inner child, for me it’s through my cardmaking hobby which often includes coloring cute images of animals for the cards I make. Yes, coloring might appear childish to some but I enjoy it and it’s good for my soul.
Ellibelle’s Corner
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ellie, thanks so much! This was such a fun theme to play around with. And coloring is amazing for decompressing and staying connected to your inner child. I love that you embrace those things! I hope you had a great weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
eva @ StyleMyThrift
so great! i actually have a very similar dress! you make me want to go put it on!
shelbee what a fun interpretation
xoEva
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Eva, thank you so very much! I would love to see how your style your similar dress! I bought this dress about 10 years ago for an Army formal and then I got pregnant and it didn’t fit when I needed it to. I never really got to wear it after that so this was fun!
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
So very nice. Love it. We all need to embrace our inner child. Thanks for the reminder.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Patrick! I hope you are enjoying the holiday!
xoxo
Shelbee
heather noire
This is such a fun and quirky post. I hope your having an amazing week. I just love your outfit styles 🙂 http://www.bauchlefashion.com/2020/05/fashions-forecast-spring-has-sprung.html
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Heather, thank you so much! That is such a wonderful compliment! Much appreciated.
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
I love that you pulled this gown for your Fab 40’s look! The denim and sneaks are perfect for your inner child theme.
You look so beautiful and cool!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Kathrine! I bought this dress 10 years ago for an Army formal and then I got pregnant and it didn’t fit and I never got to wear it. It has been stored in my basement ever since. I am so excited that I had a reason to finally wear it for something. I hope you had a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Christensen
Your outfit is the epitome of sassy princess tomboy, a look that I adore. I grew up with two older brothers, so being a tomboy was essential. I used to chase them on my bike as they drove their dirt bikes and mini bikes around a trail they had created. On the other hand, I used to love to play dress up in my mother’s best older dresses. She always kept a box full of old dresses, shoes and bags that a neighbor girl and I would love to dress up in. This was a great idea and I love how each of you interpreted it so differently. Hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day. – Amy
https://stylingrannymama.com/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Amy, thank you so much for the story of your childhood. It gave me a wonderful look at the foundation of your inner child. I was very much the same as you…part tomboy, part fashionista. It all fascinated me kind of the same way it still does today. I hope you had an amazing weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Sheela
You are equal parts princess and rebel here, Shelbee, and that just about sums up the internal conflict most of us undergo whenever we struggle with how society deems we ought to “behave” versus how we authentically wish to be. One major takeaway from this month for me is that the word “inner” really ought to be removed (permanently) from the expression “inner child” 🙂 xoxo
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so very much, Sheela! I agree that we should allow that child to be always at the forefront and not forced into a hidden status like “inner child”. And you know me, I have been rebelling against how society deems I should act for most of my life. And so here I am…wearing a prom dress with Converse on a random day in May because why the hell not! This was such a fun theme and very healing for me.
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
I love it! The outfit definitely proclaims fun and whimsy. My husband’s inner child is well integrated with his adult persona. The things that gave him joy as a child still do, and he never hesitates to express it.
As for me, I swear an old woman was born into a child’s body. I had an early sense of responsibility. I don’t know why. Cultivating my sense of whimsy was done when nothing else was required. But I am learning from my husband, and letting the little girl out more more often.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, Michelle, thanks so much for sharing this comment. I adore the relationship that you have with your husband! You seem to balance each other perfectly. And I am really glad that he has helped you to bring out that little again and let her play!
xoxo
Shelbee
Martina
Nice Lady in a lovely dress – like your pictures so much.
XO Martina
https://www.lady50plus.de
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Martina! I really appreciate that!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
What a great theme! You definitely succeeded in embracing your inner child! You can see how much fun you are having in your photos! Love your gown styled with denim and sneakers!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jill! This was so much fun! I hope your week is off to a great start.
xoxo
Shelbee
mireille
What a fun photo shoot! I love it! Sometimes, I get tired of all of seriousness of life so it is fun to sit back, watch my kids play and sometimes act like them.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Mireille! We definitely need to join our children in play sometimes or just get out and act like children ourselves. It is so good for the soul.
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
I was intrigued to see how you would tackle this challenge and you didn’t disappoint. Some very insightful analysis of the adult – child dynamic and relationship. I am often wistful for the child that was me, when I look at old photos. I don’t see many reminders of that child to be honest – I was bold and adventurous and quite mischievous. I remember a party dress my grandma got me – it was a frothy confection of pastel coloured tulle, with a yellow satin bodice. I only wore it once but how fabulous it was, twirling in that frock. That’s the look you’ve achieved. Have a great weekend Shelbee.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Gail, thank you so very much for this lovely comment. When I was younger, I was super shy and withdrawn, but very friendly and very much a people pleaser. As I have evolved into adulthood, that inner child has become much more confident and willing to let her hair down. I do love to be bold and adventurous and a bit mischievous now! That frothy dress you just described sounds so amazing! Do you have photos of that somewhere? I would love to see it! Stay playful, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Suzy
Oh Shelbee, you’ve nailed it all. Not just with the photos, but in your descriptions of how easily the inner child, and the innocence that goes along with her, is too often forced out of is as we grow older. It’s sad that s o many people let go and lose it forever. I will never do that. I love my inner child. I admit, she doesn’t come out to play too often, but when she does, I am in heaven. All things magical have that effect on me – which is why I love to write urban fantasy in my books!
But back to the outfit. OMG my friend. You look freaking AWESOME! I agree with Sheela’s comment on her blog, that it brings to mind Molly Ringwald. I adore your military inspired jacket by the way. I’ve always wanted a jacket like that. The problem is, I rarely want something when it’s in fashion so I don’t often find what I’m looking for lol!
Huge hugs, my friend
Suzy xxx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my goodness, Suzy, thank you so very much! This was such an amazing theme. I loved every bit of it and I had a ton of fun shooting these photos despite my children yelling from the car that they had to poop! I definitely went through a period in my life where I completely lost touch with my inner child, but I have since reacquainted myself with her and she comes out to play rather often these days. I have my theme for June all set but I am waiting to hear back from a potential guest blogger. I will email y’all soon!
xoxo
Shelbee
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