pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

The Boredom is Killing Me & #SpreadTheKindness Link Up #196

pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

I have completely lost my mojo in all things life recently. Seriously, I am the most unmotivated I have ever felt in my entire life. This pandemic has wreaked havoc on my mental health to the point that I literally cannot see past right now.

Maybe that’s a good thing. It forces me to live in the moment, every single moment, because I can’t see past the now anymore. But the right now, in this very moment, all the moments are just the same…mundane and boring.

That is not to say that I am unhappy. Not at all. I am an optimist by nature and can always find the good in any situation. However, when the situation stays exactly the same forever and ever, it does feel like the boredom may kill me.

Has anyone ever died from boredom? Probably not. But my goodness, I think one’s soul could die from boredom. I feel like I am living that exact reality right now. My soul is dying from boredom.

Of course, there are a million articles floating around the internet with tips and tools for combatting lockdown woes. But I feel like those articles are not really geared toward someone like me especially since most everyone else around me has returned to a somewhat normal existence. People are back to work and going out to shop and dine in restaurants while I am still holed up in my house feeling a little terrified of the world out there.

pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

Certainly, I venture out every now and then to take photos or scour the thrift shop racks. And if it is absolutely necessary and my husband is not available, I will go to the grocery store. But I don’t enjoy any of it like I used to. Every single time I leave my house, I am wrought with anxiety and fear of who the hell knows what.

It is a bit ridiculous actually that an independent, stubborn woman like myself would feel such immobilizing fear in the face of benign activities. But there it is. I have a lot of fear and anxiety lately that I have been trying to unravel and make sense of so I can properly and adequately get it under control.

With all the talk about a second wave of lockdowns coming, I am actually really quite okay with that. It gives me a valid excuse to stay home and hide. But I suppose I don’t really need a valid excuse because I have no issues using my fear and anxiety as an excuse!

But as I am sitting inside my house day after day after day, I am running out of things to share with you all here. I am quickly approaching the status of numb as my thoughts are slowing down and my ideas are dying. But I will keep scraping the filthy residue in my brain to produce some sort of interesting content.

Because I do love to write. It is my therapy. And this blog has been somewhat of a mental health journal for me as well. Sometimes when I just start pouring the words onto the screen, stuff begins to make more sense to me, I get more clarity, and every once in a while some sort of brilliance may come to the surface.

pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge
pink sweater, striped pants, fall outfit, open toed booties, fashion over 40, Shelbee on the Edge

But for now, it is a bit muddy in my brain and probably a whole lot foggy from overconsumption of marijuana during this pandemic. But the pot has kept me sane and helps me sleep. Sleep doesn’t come all that easy either when you never leave your house! So any kind of sleep supplement is a welcomed addition around here. The pot also helps me deal with the never ending boredom because when you’re stoned you really just don’t care that there is nothing to do.

How have you all coped with the boredom of being stuck in your house for months on end? I know most of you have probably returned to normal activities outside of your home, but certainly some of you felt this same boredom back in April and May. I am just trailing really far behind everyone else, but I hope to catch up with the pack some day!

Featured Favorites

Reader Favorite (Most Clicked)

Niky of The House on Silverado shared her post, Something Happy. To shine some beautiful light on an otherwise rather dark time right now, Niky has written a lovely post in celebration of her daughter’s first wedding anniversary. The photos are all so beautiful and such a wonderful reminder that love will thrive and grow even during troubled times.

Niky of The House on Silverado with her daughter Cassidy (the bride)

Fashion Favorite

Moumous of LaMoumous shared her post, How To Create a Wardrobe That Suits Your Lifestyle. Not only does she share some wonderful tips for curating your perfect wardrobe, but this outfit is totally swoon worthy as well. I love this emerald green blouse paired with ripped jeans and sassy heels.

Moumous of LaMoumous

Non-Fashion Favorite

Ratnamurti of You are Unique shared an inspiring post, Restore: Values where she discusses the importance of staying true to your own value system. It is such a great reminder of how we can get off kilter when we lose touch with ourselves. My favorite quote from this post is “living by my values gives me peace, and that peace restores me.”

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Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Link Parties.

Shop my look…

Outfit Details: Coat-LC Lauren Conrad from Kohl’s / Sweater and Pants-Old Navy / Denim Shirt-Cato / Shoes-Target / Necklace-Michal Golan / Earrings and Socks-Old

I am a 40 something Army wife and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats named Dave and Frankie. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

68 Comments

  • Laurie

    I’ve woke up this morning with the UK being in a celebrative mood because a vacine is on the horizon. I live my life very similar to yours Shelbee, only going out to take photos in remote spots and the supermarket every now and then. Hopefully the end is in sight here and I hope that’s the same for you in America too xx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Laurie, thanks so much for sharing this with me. It really does help to know that I am not alone with these strange feelings of fear and anxiety. While a vaccine is definitely something to celebrate, I would be way too anxious to get the vaccine for myself or my children until it has been used for at least a few years so we can know if there are any long term side effects. Vaccines scare me more than any virus, I think!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Maria Bonacci

    I can totally relate to how you’re feeling right now. In fact, I feel like the virus has given me an excuse to stay home and hide behind my mask when I do go out…which is almost never. And I don’t mind that. I’m even relieved that I can use the virus as an excuse to stay home and avoid situations that make me nervous. I think the warm weather we had this week mixed with the craziness of the election and the time change put my anxiety into hyperdrive. I don’t like that it gets dark so early now here in NY and that is adding to my anxiety too. This is such a crazy time in our lives and I definitely don’t have any of the answers lol but I agree with you that smoking does help get you through the days and the nights especially right now. As for this new vaccine, I agree with you on that too. I’m more scared of the vaccine and the side effects they don’t know about yet than the virus itself. Stay safe, happy, and healthy

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Maria, thank you so much for sharing your experience and feelings with me. It really does help to know that I am not alone in my anxiety. I have been relieved since the beginning of this pandemic to have an excuse to stay home! I don’t even like to be outside because someone may see me and try to have a conversation. It is really terrible. And yes, the shorter days and Daylight Savings totally mess me up as well. Add premenopausal hormone craziness to the mix and I am just a downright nightmare! The weather has been so beautiful in northern New York the past few weeks and I feel bad not taking advantage of it before the all the snow comes! I just was checking out your Etsy shop and see that you are in Seneca Falls. So near to me in Watertown! Maybe one day when we both feel comfortable straying from the safety of our homes, we can set up a blogger meet up! That might be fun. I hope you stay safe, happy, and healthy as well!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

      • Maria Bonacci

        Yes! I left out the premenopause madness that’s been going on here too. Sometimes I can’t stand myself lol. I recognized some of the signs in your photos so I knew you had to be pretty close to me. A blogger meet-up sounds like fun! In the meantime, you can email me anytime! (maria.bonacci72@yahoo.com) It sounds like we are struggling with the same issues and with another lockdown looming in the future we can always use an extra shoulder to lean on.
        xoxo,
        Maria

        • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

          Maria, thank you so much! I will definitely keep in touch with you via email! It will be nice to have a blogger friend nearby as well! There are not very many of us up in these rural parts. And oh my word, I so cannot stand myself when I get all hormonal. I feel so bad for my family!

          xoxo
          Shelbee

  • Jill

    I’m getting tired of the groundhog day feeling and the same thing day after day. I don’t know what the answer is but I hope that in 2021 things will be better. Love this cozy fall look! I love your shoes!

    Jill – Doused in Pink

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Jill, thanks so much! It is the constant repeat of total boredom that is getting me down, too. I don’t really have high hopes that 2021 will be any better. Plus I can’t even think that far ahead anyway! I’ll just keep blogging away and sharing thoughts and ideas with all of your fabulous blogger friends!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Nancy

    Oh yes I do recognize this! I go out twice a week to work out where I see 2 people, always the same people. And that’s it! Luckily my girlfriend stopped by twice last week because we could sit outside in the sun. And it feels like my life is on hold and everyone else just keeps on going! When Gerben comes home and we have diner I even have nothing to tell other the, I blogged and worked out! And indeed a total lock down would also serve me very well!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Nancy, while I am not happy that you feel the same way, I am happy to know that I am not alone in all of these weird feelings. When Jeff comes home from work, the same thing happens. He has lots to tell and all I have is “I did school work with the kids, blogged some, and nothing else!” It is the strangest feeling to really just have nothing to talk about…because you know I always have something to talk about! Hang in there, my friend. Together we will support each other through this!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jodie Fitz

    Stay strong, stay positive! These are crazy times and it’s taken a toll on all of us. Sending you positivity and love. And, appreciate you sharing…the more we share, the less we all feel alone.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Jodie, thank you so very much for this uplifting comment! I agree with you completely, the more we share, the less we feel alone. And I also think the more we share, the more we help others to feel less alone. I guess that is my whole purpose! I hope you are having a fantastic week!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • mireille

    I am sorry you are still struggling with that! I love reading your posts and seeing the cool outfits you come up with and how you share you with us. So I am glad you are not taking a break from us because we would miss you. I have spent a lot more time outdoors in my yard than I have in years which is funny because at my check up the doc said I needed more sunlight: deficiency in vitamin D. I hope you can climb this hill and be on the other side soon!
    http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Mireille, thank you so much, my dear friend. Your words are so lovely and encouraging! This is why I could never leave blogging when I’m feeling a bit down! You all uplift me so much! I am sure I have a vitamin D deficiency as well. I recently had blood work done but they won’t tell me my results unless I go in for an appointment and I am much too anxious for all that right now! I don’t even like to be outside because I get nervous that people will spot me and try to talk to me! It’s terrible! Anyway, it is getting too cold for outside anything up this way! I should just start taking some vitamin D supplements, I think. I hope your week is off to a great start!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Niky

    Shelbee,
    First, thank you for featuring my post about my daughter’s wedding/anniversary. But, more importantly, thank you for your candid and honest post about your very real and valid feelings. I always appreciate people who are so willing to put things out there in a bold way, to help others realize they are not alone in what they also might be feeling. It’s very brave.
    I think there are many of us who may be feeling at least some of the things you are right now. I have always been a “goer” and a “doer”, but this pandemic (piggy backed right now top of the death of my parents), has moved me to an arena I’ve not been in before. Although I still go to work (because I have to), and a few select other places, I have limited my excursions greatly, and always feel better when I return to my “safe” and comfortable home. I’m not agoraphobic, but I can really understand how people get to that point, I think.

    Thank you for sharing your story.
    -Niky @ The House on Silverado

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Niky, thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with me. I really was feeling very alone in this near agoraphobia. I have battled agoraphobia in the past and it was getting really bad again a few months ago. I am definitely not feeling as nervous as then to go out when I have to, but there are days I don’t even want to sit on my front porch for fear someone will try to talk to me! Isn’t that terrible? I am so, so sorry to hear of the loss of your parents. And to be dealing with that grief along with grieving the loss of life the way we knew it is absolute emotional overload. I lost both of my parents many, many, many years ago and it is a grief that I would not wish upon any person, but it is unfortunately one of those necessary losses that we are all forced to deal with in life. All I can tell you from my own personal experience is that 10, 15, 25 years down the line, you will still miss them both but you get used to that void, I think. I guess for me, it has been such a long time that I nearly forget it on most days, but I keep my parents alive in memory by sharing stories with my kids and my husband who never had the opportunity to meet my mom and dad. Sending you lots of prayers, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Laura Bambrick

    Honestly I wish I could help. It’s so hard because I feel trapped some days. I can’t leave with my oldest doing virtual school and we don’t feel comfortable sending the youngest to preschool. Grocery shopping is the one of few times i get out! I’ve been crafting a lot lately and trying pinterest things I’ve wanted to for a while. And decorating-so much decorating! Now I’m tackling for Christmas! Haha!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Laura, thanks so much for sharing what you have been doing to combat the boredom. I was being super productive a few months ago but now I find myself mostly just wandering aimlessly around my house. I think of all the things I could do, should do, want to do, and then I flop my butt on the couch and start binging on Netflix instead! I did start decorating for Christmas and plan to finish this weekend but I am only doing a minimal amount this year because I don’t even feel like doing Christmas at all!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jessica A Jannenga

    i wish I could be with you and smoke a little! I am starting to feel very similar to you, the anxiety and fatigue of the situation, combined with withdrawal and the thought of lockdown makes me tired. I understand what you are saying. My mom is here and we haven’t gone out much at all since the weather has changed. Summer was one thing, Winter, I am not looking forward to! I love this pretty pink shade on you and the combination with the periinkle blue. Lovely!
    take care!
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Jess, thanks so much! For real, all of life right now is exhausting me! Just thinking about it makes me tired. And now with winter fast approaching, I am afraid I will sink deeper into the boredom! I am so glad that you have gotten your mom settled in with you. I literally don’t even talk to anyone these days except for Jeff and the boys, my sister, my one good friend, and my counselor. I hope this craziness passes soon. I hope you are getting lots of rest and feeling much less pain, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Nora Minassian

    I hear you Shelbee, 2020 has done that to all of us. I feel blessed that I can work from home and at least I have my business. If it wasn’t for that keeping me busy, I would be struggling a lot more right now. Hang in there, things will change for the better.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Nora, thanks so much for your encouraging words! I will continue on with my writing and blogging which does keep me busy during the days as well as schooling with my kids, but by 3:00 p.m. I seem to be exhausted and out of motivation for anything, so I flop around my house and do nothing. I am certain it will change for the better, hopefully sooner than later! Stay well, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • ratnamurti

    Gosh, thank you!! I am so touched in my heart for you featuring that post about values – a subject which is so dear to my heart. What an honour!! The first lockdown in New Zealand which was the whole country – the boredom was so hard for me. I 100% empathise with you. I am quite an introvert, so in many ways I knew that it was easier for me, and I do live alone. But the boredom!!! Here’s hoping that the winds of change are a-coming regarding this pandemic, and that life can be fuller agin.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Thank you so much, Ratnamurti! Your post really hit a soft spot with me as I lived my life once upon a time not in accordance with my own values. And it wasn’t good! So I totally relate to the message you shared in that post. I am certain the winds of change will cause a shift in a better direction, but my goodness, it can’t happen soon enough! Stay well, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Rena

    Shelbee,

    I totally get you and how you’re feeling. Fortunately, I live in a state that took the threat of COVID seriously from the start so there is more of a feeling of controlled anxiety about its spread and the magnitude of the next wave. But like you, any endeavor that requires me to be indoors away from home does feel a bit like Russian roulette. This is not how I expected to spend the first months of my retirement. But this too shall pass.

    Be well
    Rena
    http://www.finewhateverblog.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Rena, thanks so much for sharing! Honestly, if it were the virus that had me anxious, I could get it in perspective and I would be fine. But I am not at all worried about the virus. Especially where I live. It is so rural and there just have not been a lot of reported cases. It is the crazy people and all the rules that I don’t understand and often get confused and yelled out for doing something incorrectly. Then I just feel like a moron and I would rather stay safely in my home away from everyone! I am glad that you are staying safe and healthy. Plus a nice long rest upon retirement is probably not the worst thing ever, right?

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Michelle

    While no one ever enjoys anxiety, I have a different take on it now. That anxiety is going to make sure you survive the pandemic. A lot of people who have returned to “normal” are getting sick and dying. We have not returned to “normal.” Just because stores, restaurants, etc have reopened in no way makes it safe to spend time in them. My husband, mom, mostly stay home, we social distance when we have to go out and always wear our masks. We did take advantage of our short swath of nice weather to do some patio dining at restaurants, but we will never eat inside. You are 20 times more likely to catch the virus inside. We don’t go into grocery stores; we do curbside pick up. I do not at all think you wrong in your behavior.

    As for boredom? I make stuff. But I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Michelle, thanks so much for sharing that perspective on anxiety. However, my anxiety has nothing at all do with the actual virus. In fact, I am pretty certain that I have had it already. I was really sick about 2 months ago for 3 straight weeks with every symptom except loss of taste and smell. I did not get tested because the CDC guidelines recommended that I was not a candidate for a test. So I just stayed home, like I always do, and recovered. It is just all the other craziness out in the wold that has me super anxious. I am glad that you are taking necessary precautions to keep yourself and your family safe and healthy. And yeah, making stuff is definitely not my cup if tea! I will find something to do with myself as the months pass by! I always have blogging!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Ellibelle

    This victorian pink shade looks so good on you, and loving that pink teddy coat!
    It’s definitely trying times, I try to keep positive through it all to keep my kids sane and I am so glad I have my blogging hobby, card making, coloring etc. Wonder if something like art journaling would be for you where you’d incorporate your writing (which you are so good at) with art…I think you’d make some fabulous pages!
    Ellibelle’s Corner

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Ellie, thanks so much! I wish I were craftier with things! I did spend a few weeks were I was coloring every night and it was very relaxing, but I got bored of that, too! Haha. I have been wanting to incorporate some doodle art into my journaling and I kind of forgot about it. Thank you for this wonderful reminder and such a great suggestion to pass the time.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom

    The winter is making me extra nervous. I just decided to send my daughter to dance virtual, because she was exposed twice in the last 2 months (the last time just 2 weeks after I sent her back) and I just don’t feel comfortable to keep sending her. I know the dance school isn’t happy, because she’s on the dance team, but I have to follow my gut feeling. I also feel like there is just no end to this and the little things we used to get to plan like a nice meal out or even a trip outside the state seems so far off. I’m such a planner, so this kills me! You should get out and take some nice super long walks before it gets too cold, that always helps me to feel better.

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Carrie, thank you so much! I definitely do need to get out and walk more. I do walk the kids to and from school the two days a week that they go. And then we try to at least go to the park or go for walks on the other days. The boys’ karate classes are still virtual and that is getting wicked old as well! I kind of want them to get back into the dojo just to have a place to go. But I am thinking that a full lockdown will probably happen before the new year anyway. I am not much of a planner, but there isn’t even anything you can do on the spur of the moment either. I just feel so trapped! Well, let us just keep on blogging and sharing our stuff with each other! It definitely helps to know that others are struggling with similar things as well. Stay safe and healthy, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Amy Johnson

    First of all, I want to say how much I love your outfit. That coat is so cute and those pants are so fun. And I love your hair long like it is. Second, I’m sorry you are struggling. I will pray for you.

  • Patrick Weseman

    My world has been flipped upside-down. I miss being out in the world but every time I go out, I see idiots not following the rules and nobody saying nothing about it. It really is a scary situation. I miss going to work and chasing my kids around the school and breaking up fights in my classroom on a daily basis (I teach middle-school emotionally disturbed kids). Teaching via Distance Learning is not the same. To be honest, I hate it and it has turned me into somewhat of a slug. Plus, being at home has made my ADD go into overdrive and I become paralysis by analysis.

    I guess I need a little excitement in my life and I am easily entertained.

    Looking very nice and thanks for hosting.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Patrick, I know this transition has been difficult for you as well. I can’t even imagine the challenges you are facing with virtual learning for your students. Hands on, in person is so much more effective. We are just waiting for the second full lockdown here. There has been talk about trying to get the kids to Thanksgiving then not returning to school in person until next year. While I do cherish the 2 days a week I get at home with no kids, I am so used to that part by now that it doesn’t even phase me anymore. Hang in there, my friend! Hopefully, we can settle into this new weird way soon. I definitely need a little excitement as well and it doesn’t take much!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Darlene

    I know that most of us can totally relate to how you’re feeling right now. We seem to be going through periods of hope and fear that keep revolving. I’m feeling a bit uninspired, too, even though I’m super swamped with all the things I’ve got going on between my coaching and consulting work and keeping the blog going. I’m doing FAR too much sitting on Zoom and it’s frustrating. Keep writing, my friend. That is definitely therapeutic and healthy for your brain and your feelings.

    Oh, and you look super pretty in that shade of pink, Shelbee!

    xx Darlene

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Darlene, thank you so much! I am doing far too much sitting on the couch! Haha. I will definitely keep on writing because it really is the one thing that I always enjoy. It sounds like you have lots of things to keep you busy! Although I guess I do have lots of things as well, I just seem to be ignoring them all for now! Have a fabulous day, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Shelly

    Shelbee I’m so sorry you are feeling so much anxiety and fear. It’s been such a long damn year. Prayers for some return to “normal” in our lives soon.

  • Lizzie

    I can absolutely relate! Aside from our recent outing, I’ve been at home since March and it has not been good for my mental health. For the first time in my life, I’ve had panic attacks and there have been times when I’ve felt really down and helpless, especially in the business aspect. My anxiety has been at an all-time high. This has completely changed everything but I’ve found that keeping myself busy has really helped with that (if I don’t, I just sit there and really think about things lol!). I’v been doing lots of cleaning/organizing, watching feel good movies and shows each evening, immersing myself in new projects and learning new skills (I got a ukulele recently and have been having fun with that!). You are definitely not alone and I hope this ends soon. I’m glad that writing helps! You should definitely do more of it and I feel like art therapy or learning an instrument might be fun for you too since you’re such aa creative person! Sending love <3

    Lizzie
    http://www.lizzieinlace.com

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Lizzie, thanks so much for sharing your experience with me. It really does bring me comfort to know that I am not alone in this struggle. I really fear for those who were already in a bad place mentally and emotionally when this all began. I always thought I was super strong mentally and have done all the hard emotional work and these past 8 months have literally set me back about 10 years in my mental health journey. I hate it. My biggest problem is that I can’t get out of my own head. Oh, the conversations that happen in there are loud, frequent, difficult to turn off, and even more difficult to escape! And so my imagination runs wild into unsavory and dark places. And I am always resistant to sharing the dark places, but I suppose that is probably the stuff that I should be sharing to help others who go dark as well! I love that you are learning the ukulele! How fun is that! I have been doing every art project that my kids get assigned and I am finding much relaxation in that. I definitely need to try out some of your great suggestions! I hope you are having a fabulous week and I hope that things start looking up soon for the whole world!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Cheryl Shops

    Shelbee, sending you a big hug. I have an autoimmune disorder and pretty much live in fear that I’m going to be exposed to the virus. I stay home most of the time too—I did have a “pod” of friends that I socialized with, but all but one have gone back east for the holidays—and going to Target is a momentous occasion! 😀 It really sucks, but I keep telling myself that it’s only temporary, and I do what I can to manage my anxiety with meditation, exercise, and weed. It sounds like you are doing that too, with writing and also weed 🙂 And you definitely haven’t lost your mojo when it comes to outfits—I love your pink jacket and sweater especially!
    Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Cheryl, thank you so much for this wonderful comment. I don’t think I knew that you had an autoimmune disorder. I can imagine that the fear is very real for you right now. I also have my little pod of friends and I do enjoy my biweekly counseling appointments as well! I was doing okay with the lockdown stuff when I could convince myself that it was only temporary. I guess that temporary feeling has long since gone away for me as I am trying accept that this really may be our new way of life for quite some time to come. I just need a big shift in perspective to get me back on track! I am hoping my counseling appointment today will help with that. And God knows I wouldn’t have survived this long without my weed! I hope you are having a great week, my friend. And thanks so much for your support and encouragement. Together we will get through these trying times.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Midlife and Beyond

    I think most of us will relate to how you’re feeling Shelbee. We have to hope things will start to improve soon, we’re all getting through this as best we can. This year has to be the worst. Keep doing what makes you feel good, that’s important . We are Currently in Lockdown 2 here and I so miss being able to go out and about. I go for a brisk walk most days, putting my music on and I’m off!! I find this gives me a mental boost, plus, it’s some much needed “me time”. Love this shade of pink on you. Take care my friend. xx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Alison, thanks so much, my friend! It really is a terrible time for all of us and that helps to know that I am not alone in this struggle. I just need to get the damn anxiety under control and then maybe I will have some clarity to set some short term goals to get through this. We just received notice that New York is starting lockdown measures again beginning tomorrow. It really has no effect on me though since I don’t ever leave my house anyway! I definitely need to start getting outside and walking more. I do a little bit, but it’s not enough to center myself. I really appreciate your encouraging words and your kind support!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

      • Midlife and Beyond

        if we all support each other we can get through this awful thing! I’m so sicK of saying the name – a friend of mine has nicknamed it “Rona”, which makes me laugh. We have to keep our sense of humour. Hope you’re feeling less anxious soon.
        Take care xx

        • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

          I agree with all of that, Alison! I hate saying the name of it, too. It is like the evil villain that has wrecked our lives! Haha. We definitely have to keep a sense of humor about it all. It is my best coping mechanism, after all. Without a sense of humor, we would really be lost!

          xoxo
          Shelbee

  • Julia Foy

    Oh my gosh, YES, the boredom is just…ugh. In normal times, I’d shake things up with a trip to the gym, coffeehouse, library, anywhere…can’t do that anymore! My mom called me the other day to see if she could occasionally visit my house when I’m not here, just to be somewhere else.

    I hope blogging is helping you keep your head above water! It’s certainly been helping me, both writing my own (and I’ve even been getting into making some video content!) and reading yours.

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Julia, thanks so much for reading my blog! You stated my struggle just perfectly! If there was somewhere, anywhere that I could go to shake things up a bit, it would be so much better! I love that your mom is able to visit your house to get away from hers! That actually does sound rather lovely. And where are your videos? Do you have a YouTube channel? If you are ever up this way in Watertown (you are still in Syracuse, right?), let me know. Maybe we can meet for coffee…on my couch!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Lucy Bertoldi

    This lockdown is just all- around bad- especially for the morale. It’s a struggle on the daily for me too. I’m so thankful I’ve got a space here in blogland where we can share our thoughts and our styling and so much more. A creative outlet certainly helps for me. Love ya! xx

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Lucy, thank you so much! Yes, it is just all around bad for everyone and it is nice to know that I am not alone in this funk! I am so grateful for the blogging community right now. If I didn’t put blogging obligations on myself, I wouldn’t have much reason to get out of bed every day. Well, I mean, my kids would get me out of bed every day! But blogging really does help sustain my purpose and passion.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  • Jed Jurchenko

    Awww, Shelbee, yes, all of this social distancing stuff is wearing us out mentally too. For us, it’s not awful, be we are noticing that life with heavily reduced interpersonal interaction sure feels different. After this is over, all of those face to face conversations are going to be appreciated even more. Our family can’t wait!

    • shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com

      Jed, thanks so much! I hate to share anything negative in my blog space but sometimes I guess you just have to put it out there. I am definitely not alone in the pandemic struggle, that’s for sure. I hope you are all staying safe, healthy, and happy!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

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Shelbee on the Edge