Inspired By Sheela Writes: Blogging Has Made Me Bolder
Blogland is filled with so many empowering articles and posts about body positivity and ageless style. While I am a huge advocate of those messages and can write equally inspiring and powerful messages suggesting that you all wear whatever makes you feel great regardless of age or body type, I am not necessarily so great at following my own words of advice. I often say how the most wonderful things happen when you step outside of your comfort zone and try something that you never before would have tried, but there are still lots of things outside of my own personal comfort zone that intimidate the hell out of me. In fact, just like most people, I have a million hang ups about what is appropriate for me to wear based on my age, my body type, and my self confidence (or lack thereof).
Recently, I read this post by my dear friend Sheela where she talks about how blogging has made her much bolder in her style choices. As Sheela so eloquently puts it,
“And how is it that the very outfits which send us spiralling into a state of consternation in our real world lives, we have zero qualms in parading them upon the biggest stage imaginable. I’ll tell you my thought process. If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist…Isn’t that the oddest?”
Yes, Sheela, yes. It is very odd.
Yet, this post of yours has encouraged me to step boldly way, way, way, way outside of my comfort zone. One trend that seriously scares me to death and has simply remained off my own personal sartorial radar for about the past 20 years my entire life is cropped tops. Never, ever, ever, in my whole lifetime have I ever styled a cropped top. Not when I was 15. Not when I was 21. Not when I was 32. Not during those years of my life when my body consisted of approximately 5% body fat. Not when I weighed 80 pounds less than I do now. Not when I was in the best physical shape of my entire life. Yet somehow, at the age of 44, after birthing two children and never losing that good old “baby weight”, tipping the scale at just around 200 pounds, I have suddenly felt the urge to take a deep breath (suck that tummy in) and try a cropped top.
I spotted this adorable red, white, and blue stripey number at Charlotte Russe just last week. When I tried it on and looked in the mirror, my first reaction was, “Hmmm…I actually don’t hate it.” This sentiment turned to, “It is actually kind of cute.” Which quickly shifted to, “It must be these trick mirrors in dressing rooms that make you look 25 pounds thinner to convince you to buy more clothes.” Ah. There it is…that self-doubt, the nasty inner voice that aims to destroy your self-image as it slowly and consistently works to break down your own confidence. As I stood there alone in that fitting room, I began to wonder who was the actual liar…my brain or the mirror. So I snapped a selfie and texted it to my husband asking for his opinion. The G-rated version of his response was, “It looks like you are asking me to come join you in that fitting room for a little sexy time.” (His actual response was much shorter and to the point…if you catch my drift).
Well, okay, then. My husband has an ego the size of Texas North America (you know, being an infantry soldier for the past 20 years has a tendency to do that to a man), so I am pretty certain that he doesn’t want to walk around town with some hideous looking beast of a woman who doesn’t know how to properly dress her body or her age. And he is always honest with me. There have been many an outfit where his nose curls up and he kind of just shakes his head and quietly says, “Yeah, hun, that outfit just doesn’t look good on you.” So I usually believe him when he offers an opinion on my clothing…good, bad, or indifferent. As a result of his somewhat perverted reply, this little teeny tiny cropped top, made for a teeny tiny 20-something, came home with this not so teeny tiny middle aged woman.
As you can see in the photos, I didn’t even take the time to decide on shoes because I haven’t yet decided if I will ever be brave enough to leave my house or back yard wearing this top! But I did put it on and I did take the pictures to share and I did parade this outfit “upon the biggest stage imaginable.” I even went so far as to put a ring in my very ancient belly button piercing (I am surprised it hadn’t closed). I figured if I was going to share my pale white belly with the world, I might as well take it a step further and adorn it with some jewelry to draw even more attention to the parts that I usually prefer to hide. If you’re gonna something bold, do it all the way!
I don’t know if I will ever have the nerve to wear this outfit outside of the privacy of my own home, but who knows…maybe I will get an extra boost of confidence one of these days, throw all inhibitions to the wind, say “eff it all”, and just flaunt my midriff and my belly button ring wherever I please. In fact, I have another midriff bearing post coming this Friday. Eek. (Photos were also taken in the seclusion of my own back yard.)
Have you ever tried something on that is so far outside your comfort zone that it made you cringe just thinking about it? Like my momma always said “You never know until you try it. And there is never any harm in taking it all into the fitting room! Just for fun!”
Getting bolder on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
22 Comments
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
That outfit is adorable!! Go you!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Tamar, thanks so much! It is actually what I am wearing today…and I am about to walk out the front door and go run errands in it! Wish me luck!
xoxo
Shelbee
Susan
Lmao! Have you been hiding behind my full length mirror, Shelbee? I always talk to it, and it hears all my doubts, fears, and self loathing comments. Fortunately, my mirror is a true friend and remains consistently silent. If the mirror doesn’t loathe me by now, my friend Joanie is always there to correct any erroneous mirror opinions. Since we were teenagers, she’s always been the VOICE. PUT A BRA ON WITH THAT WHITE SHIRT!!!!! YOU CAN’T WEAR A HALTER TOP TO SCHOOL!!! (She was right on that one, I got sent home that day. Exactly what I wanted). Joanie was then, and now, always more muted than me, but she told me once that was why she loved me the first time she met me. Be that as it may, you look good in that shirt. Yes your tummy is a bit pale, but that’s nothing a bit of bronzer cant handle for you. Might I suggest those glorious red espadrilles you sported last week as footwear for this outfit? By the way, your ass looks no older than age 25. You’ve got me thinking now. This shirt would also look smokin hot with a pair of wide leg, high waist jeans, and you could skip the bronzer. Love the belly button piercing too! I was never THAT brave! You GO, Girl!
Oh, and hubby deserves many KUDOS for his perverted response.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Susan, as always you have boosted my confidence, made me laugh, and gave the perfect styling suggestions! In fact, I am wearing this outfit today (took those photos this morning) and I just put on those red wedge espadrilles and I’m about to march right out the front door, pierced pale belly and all, and go run some errands! And I did try the top on with some white wide legged cropped jeans and it looked really freaking cute! Except they were not high waisted enough! But perhaps bronzer is the solution. And isn’t marvelous to have such a friend as Joanie who will always be your voice, your cheerleader, your confidante, and everything else in between? Thanks for this today! I needed it.
xoxo
Shelbee
Susan
Ah those glorious espadrilles will do wonders for your 25 year old butt! And I am truly blessed to have Joanie as my buddy. BTW, speaking of pale bellies, Joanie has NEVER tanned…ever. She calls herself, fair, fat and fifty, lol. Anyway, two things: First, our buddy Target has Banana Boat Summer Color for $6.69. Second, I think those white jeans would look really cute with this shirt, and not only that, it would channel Kate Hepburn in the forties, when she was at her prettiest. The elegant Ms. Hepburn was always outspoken, wore whatever the hell she wanted, and was light years ahead of her time. Rather like someone who writes my fav blog, huh?
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Susan, I just blushed at the last sentence of this comment! Aw. You are too sweet! And I am cracking up at your use of the phrase “25 year old butt”! If I had the confidence I have now and the body I had at 25, the world might be in trouble (or I would be getting in a lot of trouble)! And the Kate Hepburn reference just got my mind running towards some fun styling ideas, for sure!
Also, I haven’t tanned since childhood and always prided myself on my “porcelain white skin” (that is the positive spin on “pasty translucent skin”, isn’t it?). But this summer, I accidentally tanned and I quite like it! I ran off to Target yesterday before I saw your comment…now I may have to go back and grab some of this Banana Boat Summer Color! Does it stain your clothing though, I wonder?
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy Baten
Ha! I ordered, received and kept it, a crop to a few weeks ago! For the first time in my life too. I’m planning on wearing it tomorrow night! For the first time! Ha ha, what a coincidence right!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nancy, I love this! I am sure you look amazing in your new cropped top. I hope to see it on your blog soon!
xoxo
Shelbee
jacqui berry
Wow, go for it Shelbee, I love the whole outfit and think you look fit! I too have got a belly piercing and love it! I wear a stud in it all the time, it’s part of me now and I don’t care what anyone thinks! Jacqui Mummabstyish
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jacqui, thank you so much! And yay for belly piercings! I am thinking about re-piercing my nose, too. I always loved my nose ring. It made me feel just a bit edgy without being over the top. And I took it out a few years ago when I had a cold and had to keep blowing my nose. The tissues kept yanking on it, so I took it out until the cold went away and for some reason, I never put it back in…and now the hole is closed. Oh boo. It is also taking some time getting used to the belly ring. It pinches a little when I am moving and bending and sitting throughout the day! After all, my belly has a little more substance to it than it did the last time I wore the ring! Ha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jodie
Good for you, Shelbee!! I do think I am more happy with my body now than when I was younger—which seems weird but true. Maybe it’s the realization that we are more than just our outsides and we really are wonderful no matter what!!
And I love this top on you. I see nothing wrong with wearing it out and about. Heck…if you were at the beach, you’d be showing more than this outfit!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jodie, thank you so very much for this perspective! You are absolutely right, I would be showing more at the beach (although probably not my tummy–I am definitely a one piece swim suit kind of gal)! And yes, we are so much more than just our outsides. And if we can manage some form of confidence and a great big smile, if our outfit is a little off or showing a tiny bit more than we like, no one really notices anyway, do they? We truly are our own worst critics. Where in the world does that inner critic come from and how does she become so darn powerful throughout our lives?! (There is a future blog post, I think.) Hey thanks for that inspiration, too!
xoxo
Shelbee
Helen C.
I applaud your determination to wear things out of your comfort zone! I admire you wearing the croptop as I am also afraid to put it on! I own one but have never wore it in public, yet. I have lived in Barcelona for many many years and there you can see people wearing whatever the want, that is inspiring. For example, I used to work in a bank and we had a male employee who came to work with a suit and high heels on! Nobody cared! I love this. Whatever the insecurities I may have about my body, it really helps living in an environment where nobody judges you.
Also, this crop top looks so cute on you!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Helen, thanks so much for your kind words and for sharing your insecurity about cropped tops! I bet you look so adorable in a cropped top though and I encourage to push yourself outside your comfort zone and go for it! I did end up leaving my house yesterday wearing this with red wedge espadrilles and I went from confident to insecure about every 5 minutes, but I pushed through it. And you know what, I received a few compliments from strangers, so that made it worthwhile, I suppose. I am glad I took the chance. However, I don’t think I will be dressing like this every day! Maybe once a week to start!
xoxo
Shelbee
Mariann Yip
This outfit is so cute, I love how bold you are! https://mariannyc.com/2018/07/16/nyc-garment-district/
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Mariann, thank you so very much! Have a wonderful day!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
Love your husband’s response! You look great in this and I am so glad you went for it!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Kellyann! Oh I wavered between confident and insecure all day long while I was out in this outfit! Isn’t that so silly?
xoxo
Shelbee
Maria | passion fruit, paws and peonies
I’m a bit reserved when it comes to sharing my bits and bobs. I so admire any one man and woman who can rise above the pressure and feel free and confident with themselves! You did great Shelbee and bless your dear husband! You may have wavered but as they say ‘fake it til you make it’ and to did great!! xxx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Maria, thank you so much! It is really funny because I take a lot of style liberties and really can wear some things that might seem a bit over the top and borderline crazy. “Reserved” has never been a word used to describe me! But when it comes to showing off a lot of skin (other than my legs), I am quite reserved as well. I do not like to show cleavage! It freaks me out so badly for some reason. But I am working on my confidence to show off just a little bit. And of course, the tummy area, too. In fact, I have been strutting around all day today in a completely cropped tee shirt, belly out all over the place! But I never went past my front porch! Baby steps, right? We are all a work in progress…faking it every step of the way!
xoxo
Shelbee
Sheela Goh
Shelbee, you look amazing in this outfit. True, you do not look like a supermodel but then again, that wasn’t what you were going for, was it? This is real, authentically you, and you in that cropped looks really really good. You’ll find that as you keep wearing a particular style or cut, you get accustomed to how it shapes your body, and how it flatters 🙂 just like me and my shorts. If it wasn’t for Eve’s urging (read: actual browbeating), I never would’ve purchased nor worn that inaugural pair of denim shorts last July. Look at me now, always headed first towards the shorts section of any boutique these days.
p/s I am SO dying to know what your husband actually texted GRIN
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Sheela, thank you so much! It is funny because I hesitatingly wore this outfit, first in my back yard, then out in public. Then I wore this outfit and felt like a freaking rock star (and much more like a super model!). And now I do not steer away from crop tops at all when I am shopping. In fact, I found some old tee shirts in my Poshmark bin that were ill fitting and turned them into cropped tops, too! Then I shared one of those here and I have a super sassy and sexy midriff baring outfit all photographed and ready to go on the blog soon. Isn’t it amazing what a little step outside of our comfort zones can do?! Thank you for inspiring me!
I will have to send you a private email with the actual content of my husband’s text to me in the fitting room! It is not appropriate for this space! Hahaha.
xoxo
Shelbee