Holy Hormones from Hell & Link Up On the Edge #237
*Before proceeding to the text of this post, be forewarned that I am discussing a topic that may make some people uncomfortable. If you wish to skip it and join the link party, just scroll straight to the bottom to join us.
I am not certain why topics that have to do with natural body functions and hormonal fluctuations make some people uncomfortable, but I know from experience that they do. Just mention anything to do with human reproduction in a crowded room and see how quickly discomfort permeates the entire atmosphere. Sexual intercourse, menstruation, compromised bladder control, and cramping seem to be some of the most inappropriate topics one can mention in a group setting. And because it is so hard to even open the discussion on these topics, I would like to rise to the challenge and talk about all the uncomfortable things.
If we cannot talk about the way in which our bodies function and all the insanity that comes with hormonal changes in midlife for women, how are we ever to know if we are normal or if there is maybe a medical issue that needs to be addressed.
I am going to start at the beginning because that seems like a natural place to start something. But only the beginning of my midlife years. I swear the shift to pre-menopause began occurring promptly on the day I turned 40. Despite the fact that my doctors continue to tell me that I am much too young for pre-menopause (I will be 47 in 2 months), I am one of those people who has always been very in tune with my body and its cycles and I know that I started experiencing every single symptom of this change of life exactly at 40 years old. And with each passing year, the symptoms seem to get more intense and much more disruptive of my life.
For example, my menstrual cycle was always 28 days. Literally from my very first period at the age of 12. Without fail, on the 29th day of my cycle, I would start my period. Except, of course, on those two occasions when I was pregnant. Following the birth of both children, my cycle quickly returned to normal. In fact, my period was so regular that not only would it come on the 29th day without fail, I could always rely on it making its first appearance in the morning hours which is great for preparing for the day. That is until I turned 40. For the past 6 years my cycle has ranged from 22 days to 35 days.
Now I never know when or if it is coming…until the day before it does arrive. I am alerted to the impending monthly mayhem by the worst cramps I have ever experienced in my life. They come in full force and lay me out flat for an entire 24 hours. The morning after the onset of cramps, the flow begins and the cramps subside and then I just brace myself for the next go-round!
It happened to me again this week, on day 35 of my cycle, and I literally lost the entire day. Once I hit the day 30 mark, I start getting very excited that perhaps this will be the month when I would miss that first period to mark the beginning of menopause. But it just keeps coming, sporadically and erratically, it will not quit!
It seems with each month, the cramping gets worse but the bleeding gets less. And yesterday was by far the most extraordinary pain I think I have ever felt in my entire life. Worse than wisdom tooth extraction and dry socket, worse than a fractured tailbone, worse than a dislocated shoulder, and even worse than labor. At least with labor, you get some relief between contractions. This was more like big 2 hour long contractions with 20 minutes of reprieve between each one.
I cannot tell you the last time that I cried actual real tears because of physical pain. Certainly, I experience physical pain just like anyone else but I think I have a fairly high tolerance for it. I can push through most types of discomfort. Even in labor, I was grimacing through laughter because the experience of that type of pain was so very novel for me. I remember calmly stating to my sister while I was in labor with Ralphie, “OMFG. This hurts soooo fucking bad,” as I laughed my way through it. She responded with it, “That’s why they call it labor. If it didn’t hurt, they would have given it a different name.” Yet I shed no tears from the pain of labor!
But this week, I shed some serious tears. After about 90 minutes of what felt like the longest contraction ever, I gave into the tears as the pain felt like it was suffocating me. I couldn’t catch my breath for close to 2 hours…like a labor contraction with no relief. And so I cried like a child. Then I laid on the couch all day long hugging my heating pad and relying on my pot pipe for some kind of relief all the while fighting off the guilt about not being productive. My gosh, I am so silly sometimes!
Every time I would attempt to get up and perform one little household chore, it felt like my entire reproductive system would fall straight out of me and go splat on the floor between my feet. Honestly, the amount of pain and pressure in my abdomen really felt like a watermelon sized clot was trying to escape my body! It is utterly amazing to me how minimal my flow is compared to the exorbitant amount of pain required to shed the stuff.
My only saving grace on these cramp days is the knowledge that the pain always subsides by the next day. But on top of losing one day to pain, I lose countless other days to the mood swings. I lose sleep to cold and hot flashes as well as late night bladder issues. And I itch like crazy all the time….all over body itches like it is coming from the inside out.
I am not looking for sympathy or solutions. I know there are many women who struggle with these hormonal adjustments and I can relate to that struggle. I have read and researched a ton about menopause and ways to mitigate the symptoms. And I implement them all except for the two big ones…hormone replacement treatments and psych meds. I do not want either and I will not even consider them. I will just suffer and complain until I get through this thing. And sometimes I might even cry! But that’s okay because tears are cleansing and we should all indulge ourselves in a good cry every once in a while.
I merely wanted to share my story and express my appreciation for the magnitude of the pain that women suffer for the sake of reproduction. It is extraordinary on so many levels.
While I don’t want solutions, I definitely welcome you sharing anything that may have helped you or someone you know get through this process. Holy Hormones from Hell…you can go right back where you came from at any time now!
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Keeping it on the edge,
Shelbee
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shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
78 Comments
Laurie
Sounds like your peri-menopausal Shelbee. I hope things get better for you. Have you tried evening primrose oil? xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you, Laurie! Primrose oil is something I have not tried. I will definitely look into it!
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar A Strauss-Benjamin
That orange is such a fun pop of color!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Tamar! Have a fantastic weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kathrine Eldridge
Welcome to the club my friend. I have experienced all of what you are speaking about. My cramps aren’t as bad as yours but get tough sometimes. My struggle is with the night sweats and mood swings as well. I went to my gyno and basically she said I had to deal with it because hormones weren’t an option since my mom had breast cancer. I ended up get a small dose – 10 mg – of anti-depressant that helps with the night sweats. (They found in studies that it helped with menopausal symptoms.) I also got a bed jet. LOl! Look into that my friend because it was a game changer for me. I feel for you and pray that symptoms get better. Love this cozy cool look. I adore the mix of camo and orange!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh my gosh, Kathrine, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me! The past few months have gotten so much better with the mood swings ever since I added Vitamin D and yoga and meditation and other exercise. So I am really pleased that I could handle that part of it with totally natural things. I just am really opposed to psych medications of any sort because I have long negative history with all that stuff and I just don’t want to revisit that place! But sometimes my own stubbornness comes back to bite me. I am going to order a bamboo comforter…actually right now I am going to order it so I don’t forget! Because menopause is doing that to me as well…making me very forgetful! I hope you have a fabulous weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Kellyann Rohr
Oh Shelbee, I feel for you. These bodies of ours do some wonky things in peri-menopause. I’m almost 53 and still waiting for my period to end. I’ve never had the bad cramps but I can relate to the mood swings and the hot flashes. My gyn always tells me to be happy I still have a period because my body needs those hormones – easy for him to say, he doesn’t live with me – ha!!!
Thanks for sharing!
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, thank you so much for sharing your experience! I think I finally got the mood swings under control with Vitamin D and exercise. And I find that soy really helps with the itchiness and some other symptoms. But I keep reading all this stuff about how bad soy is for us and for the environment. So I am not sure on that one…but I do know when I add soy protein to my breakfast smoothies, it eases a lot of my symptom discomfort…except for the damn cramps! I think I have to accept that I am going to lose a whole day whenever those cramps hit. My sister is 53 and she stopped having her period in her mid-40’s after she had an ablation done…but she still gets all the monthly cyclical symptoms but without her period. I followed her lead and had ablation done about 5 years ago and apparently I fall into that 10% of women (or whatever low number it is) that just keeps getting my period! When will the madness end?! LOL Ooh, I can’t wait to have all this girl talk next week when we Zoom! Have a fabulous weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Joanne
Ugh! That is just awful; but I definitely know what you mean about the pain… I have an extremely high tolerance for pain and those last few months before my hysterectomy nearly did me in. Lucky me, I only had maybe a week’s break from the pain though as fibroids are known to add lots of pain and lots of bleeding throughout the whole cycle… so not fun. I always had a very irregular cycle– always felt caught unaware when it did unexpectedly arrive. I honestly don’t miss that at all and while I definitely have mild cramping each month now (as they kept my ovaries in) it is nothing I can’t live with but I have noticed a marked uptick in hot flashes, night sweats, and restless sleep. I too am trying to avoid hormone replacement at all costs (I mean I would have taken them if they had taken my ovaries and I felt I had no choice but I was so thankful to hear that I wouldn’t have to). I too have rolled my eyes countless times by doctors who tell me I am too young to be experiencing any symptoms yet but I know my body and I am not imagining this. I even remember my doctor telling me it was too soon to feel the baby move during one of my first pregnancy appointments and I described what I had been feeling in detail and rather shocked she replied “yes, that’s it! You must be really in tune with your body as most women won’t notice that for quite some time yet.” I have definitely been reading and researching more and more about menopause too and while I do find some of it rather frustrating that there is much less written/ talked about when it comes to menopause than say pregnancy, I do think more and more each generation is bringing it slowly out into the open. Thank goodness for posts like this! We need more people to share their experiences. Thank you.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Joanne, thank you for sharing what you have been experiencing! I am always shocked by how uncomfortable a lot of people become if I bring up topics like these. My mom died a lot of years ago so I don’t have her to talk to about these things! I often go to my mother-in-law, but she is one of those lucky women who cruised right through menopause without any symptoms at all! My sister is 6 years older than me so I often talk to her about these things but I need a whole community of women to feel pitiful and empowered with! Haha.
When I had my tubal done about 5 years ago, I was practically begging my doctor to just take it all out, not considering the hormonal mayhem that would come with a procedure like that. Thank you for giving me that proper perspective. I suppose we do need our ovaries long after we are finished having children just to keep our hormones regulated.
And just as I am struggling through my hormonal craziness, my kids are quickly coming up on their prepubescent hormonal mayhem! Haha. You can almost feel those hormones bouncing off walls when their best friends come over…I usually have two girls (ages 11 and 12) hanging with my two boys (ages 8 and 10) and the hormones are real!
Thanks for reading about my chaos and joining the discussion! I think you are right, we should be sharing these stories to keep communication open on these topics. I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michele Morin
The only advantage I can come up with for early menopause is that it got me out of a monthly cycle pretty early. It’s rough, though, to be dealing with the hormones and horribleness at the same time as kids are coming into their hormonally crazed years.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Michele, thanks so much for joining the conversation! I literally just typed a comment in response to Joanne talking about how my kids and their friends send prepubescent hormones flying all through my house just as I am struggling with my own hormonal imbalances! It is downright mayhem in this house!
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy
Gosh that sounds horrible. I think it’s such a weird sence of humor to give women menopause! I hope you have s great weekend!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks, Nancy! It is pretty awful and Mother Nature can be very cruel to us sometimes! I guess she is trying to show us how strong we really are! I hope your weekend is fabulous, too, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Nope, Mother Nature is a witch! (Cue the maniacal laughter!) 🤣
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Yes, she certainly can be! Haha
xoxo
Shelbee
Pamela
It’s certainly strange that we rarely talk about it! Hot sweats day and night took over my life and I developed a coping mechanism, trying to laugh it off but often excusing myself in the middle of a meeting because I was desperate to relieve the stream that was running down my back. I’m still having hot flushes (you say flashes) 20 years later but far fewer. I consider myself lucky that I had little pain and, although HRT was not for me, I can well understand and sympathize if severe symptoms force anyone into it.
It’s such fun being a woman, hang in there!
Pamela x
http://www.style-yourself-confident.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Pamela, thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really is strange that we don’t talk about it more. It seriously impacts so much of our lives at this stage, we shouldn’t have to be quiet about it! So far, cold flashes are much more severe for me than the hot flashes. But it can be pretty wicked when your body can’t regulate its own temperature regardless of which way the pendulum swings…too hot or too cold is uncomfortable! It is the price we pay for one of our greatest super powers…to grow humans! LOL
xoxo
Shelbee
Jennifer
Have you tried seed cycling? Or taking vitex berry and raspberry leaf tea? Since going off birth control May ’19, after getting my period back, my period still fluctuates between 31-35 days. I think it depends on my stress level. And because of my surgery in January, that also messed up my cycle. And if you track your BBT, you might have a better idea of when you’ll get your period.
Jennifer
Curated By Jennifer
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh wow, Jennifer, you just provided me with a wealth of information. I actually had never heard of seed cycling so I just was reading about it some. That is fascinating and I may give it a try. It certainly cannot hurt and I do enjoy seeds! And different herbal teas I definitely need to start keeping on hand and drinking! I do notice that stress will delay my period a little bit on certain months, but it is not so much to have a difference of a two week fluctuation in my cycle. Thank you so much for sharing all of this!
xoxo
Shelbee
Grace
You go Shelbee, talking about allll the things! So sorry your cramps get so bad… I remember when my mom went through menopause a few years ago and like you, she used to be so regular. And then she kept not getting her period for months, and we thought for sure she was done. But then of course it would come back a few months later! I think the longest she went was 18 months without a period and then it still came again! She was so annoyed that it kept dragging on and always at the least expected moments. Aren’t periods always like that? You think you’re done so you slip into your cute underwear and then BAM! Another pair ruined. Ugh.
By the way, I love the orange!
Miles of smiles,
Grace
gracefulrags.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
OMG, Grace, you crack me up! And I love that you are not afraid to talk about all the things! Please tell me that your generation is much more open about these things. That is so refreshing to me. I have always just put all the things out there for discussion and usually just receive stunned faces in response! I totally relate to your mom’s story. If I went 18 months with no period and then got one again, I might lose my damn mind! Heck, if I get like 6 consecutive period-free months and then get one again, I might lose my mind. Hopefully by the time you get to this place, there will be a million available solutions to make it easier! Have a great weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Rosemary Davis
So sorry you are experiencing such painful cramping, Shelbee.
This menopause thing is so hard to pin-point what is happening when it’s happening.
So many difference experiences for everyone.
I am happy it is behind me.
Rosemary
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Rosemary! I definitely have noticed that menopause is a very different experience for everyone. Also, the basis of knowledge about it vastly differs depending on who I am speaking with. And the age of onset can vary by decades. It is such an individual process but it is so good to share the stories in a supportive community. I am looking forward to getting to the other side of it!
xoxo
Shelbee
Ellie
Some months are worse than others for me, it’s a good thing that the pain only lasts a day because it can get so intense that I can’t even stand up straight. Yoga stretches do help but on the worst days when I can’t even straighten by body fully it’s hard to bring myself to do it and I’m just glad when that day is over!
Like you, I don’t plan on taking any meds for any of the menopausal symptoms that I may get. I quit taking BC pills many years ago and honestly think that was one of my best life decisions I ever made as I’ve gotten to know my body better than I ever thought possible with the help of a book called “taking charge of your fertility”. Another hot topic and I am so thankful for bloggers who put topics like these out there!
Thanks for choosing my I spy photography post a favorite from last week 🙂
Ellie
Ellibelle’s Corner
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ellie, thank you so much for sharing your experience and joining the discussion. I think it really helps to openly talk about these things. I am exactly like you on cramp day…I can’t stand up straight and I can’t do my yoga. All I can do is lie in the fetal position hugging a heating pad! I stopped birth control pills about 6 years ago and never regretted that decision either. Together, we will get through this crazy midlife time! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Di
Oh Shelbee, I empathize with you! I am glad that more open conversations are beginning to take place about women’s bodies. In peri-menopause I suffered from severe pain from fibroids. I am coping with menopause without hormones or drugs, as well. Practicing meditation helps me, and I also take the herb Dong Quai, it helps me a lot with hot flashes. Take care, and know you are not alone! Also, I love this orange and camo look on you and the woodsy natural background.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Di, thank you so much! I will definitely look into Dong Quai. I am all about adding natural supplements if they will help! My cramp pain gets so bad sometimes that I have wondered if it could be fibroids or something like that. I usually discount that theory though because I literally only have the cramps for that day before my cycle begins. Thanks for sharing your experience with me and joining the discussion. Talking about it definitely helps me!
xoxo
Shelbee
Lauren Renee Sparks
I love the camo an orange together. And I’m so sorry you are suffering with this. I was surgically thrown into menopause and it comes with lots of issues too, but not the pain you are describing. Praying for relief for you!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lauren, thanks so much! Being surgically thrown into menopause is no joke either!
xoxo
Shelbee
Laura Bambrick
Your disclaimer made me laugh honestly! Just because we all go through things or will be going through them at some point! But you are definitely upfront about it all! I’m sorry you are going through all this! I’m really not looking forward to it in a decade or so. Yuck!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Laura! Seriously though, mention your period in any conversation outside of your home and people are aghast…as if half the population of all mammals doesn’t experience this! Don’t worry too much about it though, lots of women get through the process with minimal or no symptoms. And in 10 years, who knows what will be available to help you through it! Everything changes so rapidly these days.
xoxo
Shelbee
mimifce@hotmail.com
Yikes! Ouch! Thankfully none of that here for me even though my cycle has gotten shorter lately! So I definitely had no suggestions. I thankfully have never had cramp pains so I am one of those lucky few but who know what will happen once perimenopause hits.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh good for you, Mireille! I sometimes ask my mother-in-law questions about menopause, but she is one of the lucky ones who went through the whole process symptom free. I hope you can fly right through it without an issue like she did! It is very unpleasant and disruptive. I hope you have a fabulous weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Gail
You definitely have a lot of the perimenopausal symptoms. It all started for me when I was 44. Heavy periods that were no longer regular (but still monthly), big hormonal spots, terrible mood swings, insomnia. By the time I was 50 I was in a very challenging job and the symptoms were ruining my career, I couldn’t control the mood swings. So I started on HRT. It’s not for everyone but I was so happy to feel normal again. It will pass for you but sometimes takes a few years. Admire your bravery!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Gail, thank you so much for sharing your story! I know a lot of women who have had great success with HRT! I can be super stubborn sometimes about medications and medical treatment and for some reason HRT scares the hell out of me. But I also don’t think I am at a point where I need it. I am still managing okay with just some natural supplements. I don’t think I am in the worst of it yet though, so I may change my mind!
xoxo
Shelbee
Barbara
When I lived in Peru, i learnt to brew a concoction of oregano and other herbs. But hot oregano alone works too. Thanks for sharing this post.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Barbara, thanks so much! I will definitely look into concoctions of this sort! I hope you are having a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Rena
Oh dear. You do have it rough. I also started peri-menopause in my early 40s and by 47, I was going for long stretches between periods. And disappointed when it appeared but fortunately the painful cramping I’d had in my younger days was not so much a problem. If it’s any consolation, you’re outfit is freakin’ awesome! Camo with orange and pops of blue is a brilliant combination.
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Rena, thanks so much! Of course it is consolation that I am wearing an awesome outfit! Haha. These are things that distract me from the misery of menopause…cute clothes and interacting with my fabulous fashion friends to talk about cute clothes and womanly things! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Ugh and just more ugh! I was not as strong as you. When I was getting very little sleep due to hot flashes while trying to work, I finally opted for HRT. It was my intention to just power through it too, but going back to work changed that equation. I decided falling asleep while driving or being short-tempered with wrong person was a greater danger than the HRT. And my GYN put me on a dose that stopped the light, infrequent periods I did have. I was 48. I certainly haven’t missed that shit.
Anyway, as my periods lightened so did my cramps. I wish your would do the same. I can remember having cramps like you describe just once (and after my tubal ligation). It was horrible! I am so sorry you have to deal with it every time. Holy shit! The major component to my periods was horrendous fatigue starting about 3 days before.
I stopped the HRT this past winter. (I was on it longer than some because doctors thought it would help with the fibromyalgia). I still have the occasional hot flash, but they aren’t near as extreme as they once were. So there is hope in the long run, Shelbee!
And you’re right, we should be able to talk about this without shame or embarrassment. It’s a natural body function. Why should it be shrouded in such mystery? Why should we discuss it in hesitant whispers?
Hugs, my friend! Great post!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Michelle, thanks so much for sharing your experience! You know, on those cramp days when I get so mad that I have to spend the day lying down, I do remind myself to also be grateful that I do not have to go to work outside of my home. I try to keep that perspective and be thankful that I have the luxury to just take the day off for the cramping. Honestly, if I had to go to a regular job 5 days a week, I would probably have to consider other treatments like HRT. I get the insane fatigue as well for the few days leading up to my period. I call it “period flu” because my entire body feels like I have the flu with the body aches and fatigue that take over. It sometimes feels like my entire body is made of lead when that fatigue hits. It is awful! Oh and that post-tubal ligation cramping is so freaking awful…but my one day of cramps is actually worse than that!
I am so glad to be having this discussion openly right here on my website for anyone to see! No shame, no secret whispers. Just plain old real life stuff that should not be embarrassing at all! Thanks for joining the conversation, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Michelle
Oh I remember the period flu. Ugh! And for me it came with back aches. It was like low grade back cramping. So much BS!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Oh the back cramping! I swear when the cramps get me, they radiate from my core around my entire torso, straight down to my ankles and up to my armpits! It’s like full body cramping! And it is total BS! Haha.
xoxo
Shelbee
Ann
Thank you for sharing your story, Shelbee. Having gone through the menopause, I know it is important to be able to share your experiences with other women. Even if every one of us has a different story, there are still similarities which make you breathe a sigh of relief that you’re not alone. I was never ever regular, but in pre-menopause I started to be more regular. How crazy is that? But I did suffer from the most horrible cramps like you. That weren’t THAT bad every time, but still enough to install that fear in me that it would happen again. As I don’t have children I cannot compare to labour, obviously, but I did have an inkling that this is what contractions would have felt like. When I had one of those episodes, I couldn’t get up or I would have fainted. It once started when I was on the bus, and I had to get off and sit down in the bus shelter until the worst had passed. And I had to lie down on the office floor more than once when it started when I was at work.
Also, the night sweats! I still have those from time to time, although less severe, and my menopause happened three and a half years ago. That said, I never took any medication, apart from some natural supplements.
Hang in there! xxx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Ann, thanks so much for sharing your story and menopausal experiences. It really is so helpful to me to hear all of these stories. I feel so isolated in the menopausal misery sometimes especially since I live in a house that is filled with males who will likely never really understand it all. But I talk about it openly in my house and around my kids (at their level, of course) so they will grow into sympathetic men. I can totally relate to that feeling like I might pass out if I try to stand up with the cramping pain. I was walking around the house the other day completely bent over at the waist because straightening my torso in the midst of the cramping was just too much to bear! My 9 year old kept asking if I was okay. Not wanting to worry him, I explain it the best I can for a 9 year old to understand. And yes, cramps like this are exactly what labor feels like so you were not wrong in thinking that that when you experienced them! I am going to keep trying natural remedies and things until I find something that works. Until then, I will keep on keeping on like we women do! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Cheryl Shops
I’m sorry you’re going though so much pain, but thank you for speaking up about menopause—the more we talk about it and normalize it, the less we’ll feel compelled to add disclaimers about our own bodily functions! I am not looking forward to this period (pun intended) in life myself, but the more we can commiserate, the better I think I’ll feel.
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Cheryl, thank you so much. It is silly that I felt compelled to put a disclaimer because I was going to talk about something that half of all mammals go through! Like periods and menopause are a thing of shamefulness. I remember in high school, girls were allowed to skip swim class once a month if we had our periods. We had to indicate to our male teacher that were taking an “M Day”. In hindsight, I am realizing what an awfully ridiculous set up this was. First of all, we had swim class 3 times a week and my period lasted the whole week, not just one day. And it was totally embarrassing at that age when we had to state it during class attendance so then the whole class knew you had your period. And teenage boys can be very ignorant especially in a world that tells us that we should be embarrassed by our femaleness. So I am going to keep talking openly about it so younger generations of women do not have feel embarrassed by our natural body functions! Great pun, by the way! LOL
xoxo
Shelbee
xoxo
Shelbee
Patrick Weseman
Thank you for sharing this. I found it very informative and chalked full of knowledge. Sending you positive thoughts.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Patrick, thank you for reading it! I think it is important for the opposite sex to understand the hell of female hormones. Sometimes when we get all bitchy and ragey, it really is outside of our control! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Darlene
Ugh, Shelbee, so sorry. While I definitely don’t have a solution, I do wonder if you shouldn’t have that checked, That kind of pain doesn’t seem natural. I am speaking from experience having suffered from fibroid tumors and having to end up with a myomectomy in my younger years. The pain was horrible and I lost SO many days every month. It might be worth looking into, anyway. You look adorable, regardless, and that orange sweater is a great perky color on you!!
xx Darlene
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Darlene, thank you so much for the lovely compliment and for sharing your experience as well. I have been checked out for so many things over the years with period and cramping issues and I have never really found any answers other than I am just prone to bad cramping, etc. Actually, while the pain is so much more severe now, the duration is much shorter. I used to spend the week in bed with cramps when I was younger. Thankfully, they only last one day now! So for now, I am okay with enduring it and using as many natural resources as I can until I get back in to see the doctor…but that is a whole different issue! Haha. I hate doctors and I am particularly displeased with much of the care we receive from military services. In a few months, we will be able to switch out to civilian doctors and practices so I am going to wait out at least until then! But I will probably keep complaining until then! Haha
xoxo
Shelbee
Sheila (of Ephemera)
Oh, I am all in for talking menopause sh*t, Michelle. My periods dwindled down to little coughs of bloody dust from my vag, I swear to gawd. Then it stopped for a whole…11 months. Not quite into full-blown meno, then! Then they finally stopped altogether about 2 years ago, and I LOVE not having cramps and periods – here, young women, take all my tampons!
I’ve had 3 different kinds of sweats: the thermonuclear sweats (lasted a year then stopped completely). Ya feel it coming…coming…then you are MADE OF FIRE! Then I had the irrational night sweats (off and on for about 6 years, I still get these). Oh, you’re asleep finally? Now wake up drenched. Repeat. And, I have the 10:30pm sweats right now. I’m freezing cold and then…MUST TAKE OFF ALL THE CLOTHES. All the sweats felt different.
I don’t take any medications – not my thing at all, not into it. I make sure I eat properly (lots of whole grains, veggies, fruit and protein), exercise regularly and practice my self-care (clothes!).
I have the crazy RAGES, which in the Pre-Cov days, I would warn my coworkers by walking around the office, saying loudly, “I am filled with menopausal rage today, my fine colleagues! It is irrational, so know that I don’t mean it if I look angry! You need to know this! Your wives will go through this!” My boss would turn beet red whenever I talked about it, but I said the same to him: You need to know what your female employees will go/are going through! I frame it in a funny light, though, so that they understand: it’s serious (because it sucks and I do feel it!) but it’s also so ridiculous – I’m angry for no reason!
I’m so happy to be done all that period bullsh*t, but I’ve noticed in the last year that I’m losing the elasticity in my skin. Dammit! Aw well, screw it – I earned these wrinkles. ;-P
Have a good weekend, my dear. Hang in there. I’m sorry you had to go through that pain – I hope that part of the peri-meno ends for you soon. Big virtual hug!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Sheila, thank you for this refreshing and fun response! I do love to offer up a detailed description of what my body is enduring to any unwilling listener…especially those of the male persuasion! Because, like you said, they need to know what havoc reigns within our feminine forms or else we might all be in danger of the wrath of menopause! Right before my sister had her ablation done, she went to her doctor and very persuasively told him something like this…”If you don’t do something right now for this rage I feel every month, if I have to go through one more cycle, I am telling you someone is going to die. I don’t know who. It could be me, my husband, my children, a stranger walking their dog past my house. So you must do something now.” The ablation stopped the bleeding for her and minimized the rage. I was not so lucky with that same procedure, damn it! I love that you forewarn the folks around you when the irrational part hits. I do the same except I never go anywhere so the warnings are just for Jeff and the boys. But I feel awful for them when I get all moody and crazy. Acknowledging it definitely helps to keep too much anger resulting from my moods. I usually just try to stay away from everyone if I can because I can’t even stand myself when it happens so I certainly don’t expect others to have endure me! Thanks for ranting with me and sharing your experiences!
xoxo
Shelbee
Mica
I do love the orange knit with the camo pants, it’s a nice outfit! I’m sorry to hear you are in so much pain though and I hope that the doctors can suggest a solution for you soon. As I know with endometriosis though which has extremely similar symptoms to this it can sadly be a while before you get any assistance or taken seriously – I hope you get some relief and a supportive doctor.
Hope you are having a good weekend 🙂
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Mica! I have never dealt with endometriosis, but have heard from others how extraordinarily painful that condition can be. I have been checked for it in the past because of my pain levels with my cycle, but that wasn’t what was causing the pain. Although the cramping pain has definitely worsened for me over the years, the duration of the pain is so much shorter than when I was younger and would suffer for an entire week from cramping. So I am grateful for that. I hope that you are having a lovely weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill
I feel you! I never had cramps in my life until perimenopause and it’s the worst. Your’s sound very intense and I’m wondering if you should get it checked out. You shouldn’t be in that much pain. Love the orange and camo combo! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Jill – Doused in Pink
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jill! I have suffered from bad cramps my entire life so it was not so unexpected for me when they got worse during this stage. I can’t imagine how the cramping must have shocked you having not experienced them during the younger years…it can be rather intimidating, I imagine, to go from no cramps to these perimenopausal ones! They are just dreadful! I have talked to my doctors about all these symptoms so many times and they just dismiss me and tell me to deal with it. So I have kind of just given up on them and am doing what they said…just dealing with it. I take solace knowing that each month brings me closer to menopause and the end of this treachery! Ha. I hope you are having a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Amy Johnson
That orange sweater looks so great with those Camo pants!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Amy! I keep seeing all of my blogging friends combining bold colors with camo, I had to give it a try!
xoxo
Shelbee
Natalie
First, let me say your outfit is AMAZING! I love camo! I never thought about pairing camo with an orange top. It goes perfectly together.
Girl.. I am peri-menopausal. I am in the early stages of menopause. And I am 40! So this should be a fun ride for me. I do have a lot of issues so during the summer I am going to talk to a doctor to see my options for a hysterectomy. It’s time. I am so done with all this pain and discomfort. So I feel ya!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Natalie, thanks so much! I have been getting much bolder with my camo pairings lately…thanks to all the inspiration I get from my blogging friends! When I had my tubal done 5 years ago, I was begging my doctor to just take it all! Haha. He wouldn’t do it for me for some reason that I never quite understood. But then I think hormone treatment is necessary after a complete hysterectomy. I hope you find some treatment solutions with your doctor! It seems so unfair sometimes that we have to suffer so much pain and discomfort on a monthly basis for like 40 years of our lives! I hope you are having a great weekend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Angie
Shelbee, why is it that you are so funny?! Lol! I must gravitate towards your blog because of the humor and the ideas that run through your head. And your originality shows in your outfits. Stay cheerful, My Friend – Angie, http://www.yourtrueselfblog.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Aw, thanks so much, Angie! Humor is my best way to deal with all the uncomfortable things in life! Well, it is how deal with most of life actually. I love to laugh and make light of all the things…it makes this whole process of life and being human much less tragic, don’t you think?! I hope you are having a lovely weekend, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee
Suzy
Oh, how I can relate to you, Shelbee. And I feel for you, I really do. I wish I had some solutions that would help but all I have is what you probably already know: a hot water bottle and perhaps a few select yoga positions using pillows and painkillers. Sucks big time, doesn’t it? I’ve been pretty regular since mine started aged 13, although back then they were almost always around 35 days. Now they seem to be 28 days on the dot.
A couple of years ago I had a few occasions where I had the most intense pain I knew there was something so wrong, Michael actually called an ambulance and I went to hospital. But once there, I had to wait quite a long time to see a doctor that my pain had ended! And then tests seemed to show nothing wrong. I saw another doctor a few weeks later and she was convinced some of my ovarian cysts had burst, causing the pain from hell. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries quite a few years ago but more recently there seems to be no evidence of it any more. Strange, really.
Luckily I haven’t had pain like that since—I was literally rolling about on the floor because it was so horrendous. These days my period pain can be pretty horrific, but painkillers and wine help!!
I hope you get through this sooner rather than later, my friend.
Huge hugs
Suzy xx
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Suzy, thank you so much for sharing your experience! I had to go to the hospital once when I was in my early 20’s for that same kind of pain and was told that it was ovarian cysts. I would occasionally get that horrendous pinching, cramping pain that is caused when the cysts burst. And strangely it just stopped for me as well after I had my children. I have also always been able to feel when I ovulate. I get a slightly less painful pinching sensation right around days 8-12 of my cycle. I guess because I am so in tune with my body, I get to feel it all, the good and the bad! Oh my goodness, speaking of yoga…last month, I was doing a yoga class specifically focused on hormones and cramping in the hopes that I could proactively mitigate some of the discomfort and pain before it started. I came out of that practice with horrible cramps and bloating! I think with the whole practice focused on that one area, I brought the symptoms on quicker! Or it was just a weird fluke (probably more likely, haha). But yes, painkillers, pot, yoga, and some heat on my tummy are going to be my go-to methods of treatment for a while!
xoxo
Shelbee
Flora
I’m 75 I started the menopause at 48 and finished round 52. The only symptom for me was erratic periods. I had no other symptoms not even flushes. I know these are very real from my friends’ experiences. I suffered all my life with pmt but sailed though the menopause. I’m not boasting I just like to share that not everyone has such a bad time. I enjoy your blog.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Flora, thank you so very much for sharing your experience with menopause! I definitely did not read it as boasting. You deserved an easy menopause after suffering with PMT for so long! These bodies of ours are quite miraculous but there are prices we have to pay somewhere along the line, I guess. It’s like Mother Nature’s cruel joke on women! Also, thanks so much for reading my blog! I really appreciate that support.
xoxo
Shelbee
Anita Ojeda
Aww! I’m so sorry! I’ve been through that irregular bleeding thing…sometimes a month off and two months on (at least it was light). I recently had my thyroid levels checked (I have hyperthyroidism) and discovered I was getting too much thyroid. Since they changed my meds I haven’t had any hot flashes. Yay! Hang in there. This, too shall pass!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Anita, thank so much! I am really grateful for all the women who are willing to share their experiences with me. It really does help knowing that so many others have survived this time of life!
xoxo
Shelbee
Theresa Boedeker
My sister went into menopause about 15 years ago and has always been very open and vocal about what she experienced and information she read. And I have appreciated it. How else do we know what to expect or know what might hit us. This is something we need to be talking about more. Thanks for sharing your experience.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Theresa, thank you so much for this very validating comment! I have always been one to open discussions about uncomfortable topics because it is so important! We cannot form communities of support without sharing all of our experiences. I hope you are having a wonderful week!
xoxo
Shelbee
melissa williams
Thank you so so much for the generous mention Shelbee! SO sweet of you (sorry for the tardy catch-up!). I always just shake my head at all of the myriad of issues we go through as women. It is amazing to me at the differences…..even within one family! I have only sympathy and prayers for what you are going through. I intend to go through these comments with a fine tooth comb. I too, intend to be an open book on this subject but so far at 51 I am boring and w/ a cycle as dependable as a Swiss train…….I have no idea. I’m here learning like everyone else.Thanks so much for sharing. You look so vibrant in these pics!
~Melissa xx
https://freshairandfalselashes.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Melissa, thank you so very much for this comment and sharing your experiences as well. Hopefully, you are one of those lucky women who might just cruise right through menopause without a single symptom! I love that you are willing to share it all as well as you experience these changes. It is so important for all of us to share our stories and experiences. It really only helps to make the road a bit easier for each and every one of us!
xoxo
Shelbee
Jessica A Jannenga
Yay! I like your new blog layout! Very nice! I am looking into that as well or at least make a few tweaks. I love the bright colored sweater with your camos! I get where you are coming from! Yes, it is not one of the topics people enjoy talking about it seems, but a fact of life. I had dysmennorea which comes with EDS, and that is, extremely painful periods. I would be n the couch and unable to do anything when it came. two years ago it was night sweats where I had to change my robe in the middle of the night. I am sorry you are going through these difficult symptms! I have been on continuous BC as my pelivs used to dislocate wit a period, and I honestly don’t miss it!
take care!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
thanks for linking!
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much, Jess! I still have to figure out some things out with the new theme. Like my entire side bar is gone and I can’t figure out how to get it back. I think maybe the theme doesn’t allow it. Also, thank you for sharing your experience with difficult periods. I am so glad that birth control pills help to eliminate that issue for you. I can’t take any kind of birth control anymore because it raises my blood pressure too much and I don’t want to have to take blood pressure medicine either! I will just keep trying all my natural approaches and see where they lead me! Have a great week!
xoxo
Shelbee
Emma Peach
I’m sorry you’re having such a crappy time of it Shelbee. I’m the same age as you and have noticed changes to my cycle since the start of the year – I get a period every two weeks now…lucky me! They only last a few days but still, I could do without it! I’ve always had bad cramps, some months (or forthnights) worse than others. I don’t want HRT, I’d rather go through it naturally if I can. It’s no fun is it? Big hugs.
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Emma, thanks so much for sharing your experience! Every two weeks…ugh…that sounds awful! It really is no fun but it is so helpful to learn how other women are experiencing this time of life and how they are coping with it. I tend to forget all about the misery once it has passed and then I don’t think to take proactive measures until it cycles around again. At that point, I figure I have to just trudge on through and get to the other side even it means spending a day or two in bed. I am super grateful that I have the luxury of just lying in bed when the cramps come! Sending you big healing hugs, too, my friend!
xoxo
Shelbee