‘Tis the Season to be Mindful (with Zaful)

People have a tendency to get a little crazy during the holiday season. Whether it is stress over money or gift buying, attending or hosting holiday events, relationship or family issues, or cramming in work obligations with year end deadlines, problems just seem more amplified at this time of year. And as a result, people get harried and oftentimes quite nasty with one another.

*This is a sponsored post. This top was provided to me. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” -Pearl Strachan Hurd

I have been seeing a lot in blogland over the past few months about women verbally attacking other women in the cruelest of ways. I am not even talking about internet trolls in this case. I am talking about real women, women who write blogs, women who own small businesses, women in our communities, who are just getting mean with one another. It sometimes feels like I am in high school again. Actually, more like middle school. I don’t even think the girls in high school were this bad.

“Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.” -Yehuda Berg

*Top: Ruffles Lace Up Plus Size Top c/o Zaful. Check out the amazing Black Friday/Cyber Monday Deals at Zaful.

Without giving examples…because sadly there are too many to give…I just want to share with you where I stand on all of this and how I react to negative comments made to me or about me. I firmly believe in the statement “What other people say about me is none of my business.” Good, bad, or indifferent. If you are talking about me in a forum where I do not know what you are saying, it is none of my business. And as such, I don’t even think twice about it.

“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” -Rachel Wolchin

On the same note, if what you are saying about me is negative and unkind and downright awful, that has nothing to do with me either.  It has absolutely everything to do with you and where you are in your process of self-evolution. You see, I’ve been working on myself for years to be the best possible version of me. And I continue to do that work daily. If you take such serious issue with me that you are compelled to spew hatred about me or to me, it’s not really my issue at all. It’s yours.

“Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.” -Kushand Wizdom

I am willing to accept people right where they stand in life, right now in the moment when I encounter them. Individuals who have not found peace within themselves will often project all sorts of negativity out into the world. If you become the target of that negativity, just be aware that the struggle is not yours. It is that person’s journey and hopefully they will eventually reach a place of self-love. Once self-love is achieved, there really is no room for hatred and negativity anymore.  But each person operates on their own individual timeline.  It is not for us to decide how far and how fast another person evolves.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” -Pearl Strachan Hurd

You see, if I am verbally attacked, which I have been, I recognize that the problem belongs to the attacker not to me. I will meet that person right where they stand in such darkness and offer a glimmer of light. And I can’t offer light if I lash back in a negative way. I can only pour positivity into the world if I exhibit a genuine sense of self-love.

“The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.” -Unknown

But like anybody else, I do have my limits. And I can be pushed to them. While I do my best to respond to any and all negativity with a positive attitude, I am flawed and I can falter. And when I falter, I can be just as nasty as the nastiest person out there. It doesn’t happen often. It has maybe happened 5 times in my life where I have been pushed to the point where I have delivered a verbal attack on a person that has permanently and forever ended the relationship.

“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” -Joel Osteen

So while I don’t necessarily condone fighting negativity with negativity, sometimes it is necessary. There are consequences to our actions. Everyone one of them, in fact. Just because I choose to meet negativity with as much positivity as I can muster, not everyone chooses to take this approach. I am not judging that type of response at all. It is a natural human reaction. So if you choose to say horrible things about other people, be prepared for an equal counter-attack. In fact, be prepared for a counter-attack that could destroy you. Because everyone has a mean streak and everyone has their limits. And when limits are reached, beware.

“Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.” -Unknown

So all I want you take from this post is this…be mindful of what you say, where you say it, and to whom you say it. Words are like weapons and they can cause much damage. If you choose to use your words in this way, be prepared for any number of outcomes. Only you are responsible for what you say. You cannot control the reactions of others. And there are always consequences.

“If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything negative. In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths. Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts. We can always replace negative with positive.” -Betty Eadie

And now with the holidays here, stress and emotions are running high. This is the time to be as gentle and kind with one another as we can possibly be. We do not know the struggles that others face. We do not where they are on their journey. We do not what demons they may be battling. We do not what loss they have suffered or what sadness they may be experiencing. So we all have a responsibility to one another to be as kind as we can possibly be.

“…But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will run wild and cause you grief.” -Unknown

That is my two cents on the issue. It is just as easy to speak kind words as it is to speak harsh ones.  Choose wisely.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” -Mother Teresa

How do you choose to use your words?

Keeping it on the edge,

Shelbee

*A year and a half ago, I wrote another post on this topic.  You can read that post here: Mind Your Words.

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

Follow shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com:

I am a 40 something Army wife and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats named Dave and Frankie. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

26 Responses

  1. love the outfit!!!

  2. Oh those boots! I saw them in gray and wanted to order them!

  3. Constructive criticism (as long as it’s invited) is one thing but just being mean definitely says more about the person dishing it out than the one it’s aimed at. It comes from a place of insecurity and there’s just no need for it. I love your necklace and embroidered boots!

    Emma xxx
    http://www.style-splash.com

    • Emma, thank you so much for sharing your take on the topic. I agree with you completely. There really is no need for blatant and purposeful nastiness. Say something nice or keep quiet is my opinion! Unless, of course, you were asked to give a constructive statement, but then constructive criticism can still be delivered in a kind way. Thank you for stopping by and for the lovely compliment as well.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  4. I tell the students at my school all the time that words have so much power, they can build people up or tear them down. I also try to make them understand that what other people think or say about them is none of their business and that if a friend tries to tell them what someone else is saying about them to politely say, “I don’t want to know.” Of course this is hard for them to understand and even harder to put into practice but I have hope.
    Your advice is spot on of course and I hope this message resonates with many!
    xo,
    Kellyann

    • Kellyann, thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom! Although, it may be hard for your students to understand right now, it is a message that they will remember later in life and will carry with them. Now if everyone got this concept, wouldn’t the world be such a kinder place? Thanks for stopping by. I hope you have had a lovely weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  5. Great quotes.

  6. Oh wow, I love your boots!! Thanks for sharing at Creative Mondays Shelbee, hope to see you on Wednesday for our next blog hop 🙂

  7. I heard a great saying the other day, “What people think of me, is none of my business”.
    Jeans with tights, I used to love this look when I was younger. Not sure I could pull it off these days. You do it well x

    • I agree with this saying very much, Alicia! It is so true. And it makes for much more peaceful, carefree living if you believe that. And you could totally pull off denim shorts with tights…just throw in a side of confidence (even if it’s fake confidence) and rock the look! Thanks so much for stopping by and for leaving a wonderful comment.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  8. Buffalo plaid, laceup detail, fun sweatshirt, shorts with tights, gorgeous OTK embroidered boots – you got so many trends here but totally made them work my friend. You are a star and buffalo plaid and plaids in general suit you!

  9. This is such a cute outfit! I totally agree that even though the holiday season is hectic, it is super important to be mindful. In the end, it is all about friends and family, and being kind to others. This is such a beautiful post!
    Thank you for linking up this week!

    ~xo Sheree
    PoshClassyMom.com

    • Sheree, thanks so much for this lovely comment! Kindness is so important all year long, but more important to be mindful during the chaos of the holidays, for sure! Have a wonderful remainder of your week!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  10. Cute boots hon! I love the lace up detail too of your top. i know what you mean especially during times of stress where people may say what they don’t mean. It is so important during the season, or anytime really to be conscious of what you are saying to others.
    thanks for linking!
    jess xx

    • Thank you so much, Jess! It is so important to always be mindful of our words. And It definitely gets more difficult during times of holiday stress. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts on the matter! And thanks for the lovely compliment as well.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  11. I love this look, so fun! Cool, edgy and fabulous pops of buffalo plaid!

    xx, Elise
    http://www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com

  12. Love the plaid! Such an unexpected way to look festive

    http://www.michellespaige.com/

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