The Reality of Fantasy

Fantasies. We all have them. At some point in our lives everyone engages in fantasy. I am going to be bold and even say that at some point on a daily basis most people have thoughts that would classify as fantasy. Even if for the briefest of moments. We fantasize about all sorts of things…from the benign and harmless to the crazy and potentially dangerous. We have dark fantasies, light fantasies, unrealistic ones, and ones that could very easily become reality.

The subject of fantasy has been surfacing in discussions all around me recently. Usually when this happens, when a subject presents itself to me over and over again in various forums, I will often feel compelled to write about it. The persistence of said topic is almost like a omen…and it is begging for further discussion.

So let’s talk about fantasy. First, look at the definition. It is way more in depth than even I suspected. defines fantasy in these terms:

1. imagination, especially when extravagant and unrestrained.
2. the forming of mental images, especially wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.
3. a mental image, especially when unreal or fantastic; vision:
a nightmare fantasy.
4. Psychology. an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.
5. a hallucination.
6. a supposition based on no solid foundation; visionary idea; illusion:
dreams of Utopias and similar fantasies.
7. caprice; whim.

*I seriously could write a thesis analyzing this definition, but I will keep it short.

Okay. But what is fantasy really? And is there a reality to it? In my opinion, engaging in fantasy is merely your thoughts taking you to places where you may be afraid to dwell. Fantasy is the ability to imagine things outside of your grasp. To do things you would not otherwise do. To be someone you are not. To be someone you wish you could be. To escape from a reality that perhaps is not meeting your current needs. Or perhaps to just escape a reality that is overwhelming. What ever the reasons for our fantasies, they are quite real. And there is absolutely no shame in sometimes escaping our reality to feel a little more free in a fantasy world. That is one reality of fantasy.

But for some reason, the whole idea of fantasy tends to carry a negative connotation along with it. But why? Why are our fantasies so forbidden? Are they not just our thoughts? And are not thoughts-unique, individual, personal thoughts-merely part of the human experience? Fantasy is healthy. Fantasy can help us to think outside of the box. It can help us understand things about ourselves that may not be completely apparent. Fantasy can drive us forward. But it can also hold us back. It can lead us to great things and wonderful experiences. It allows us to dream big. But it can also lead us to places which may be better left within the confines of our fantasy worlds.

Another reality of fantasy is this…we all visit fantasy worlds from time to time. And that is healthy, it is human, it is real. But what actions or inactions we take in response to each fantasy is where the trouble may lie. Depending on the nature of the fantasy, taking action to make it a reality could lead to beautiful, amazing, wondrous experiences. Taking action could also lead to worlds of trouble that may be better left in fantasyland. On the flip side, inaction may be good or bad as well. Sitting stagnant, afraid to take the steps to realize a big dream, is not such a beneficial response. But inaction in response to a fantasy that may not have such pleasant outcomes is probably the better option.

Fantasies in and of themselves have no outcomes really, they are nearly nothing at all, just thoughts in our heads…until we take action. So when deciding which action is best in response to a fantasy, we must be prepared for the consequences: good, bad, or indifferent. There may be no consequences to fantasy. In fact, there shouldn’t ever be consequences to just thinking about something.  But there are always consequences to actions.  And these consequences can never be predicted. All we can do is prepare for the unexpected.

Now let’s look at the fantasy and the reality of this Victoria Beckham dress. The fantasy is this: I wish I looked as stellar as Victoria Beckham would look in a dress like this. The reality: I don’t. I look like me. And that reality is pretty okay.  But the fantasy is nice, too.

And my husband apparently has had quite the fantasy involving me (not Victoria Beckham) in this dress! Now that’s a fantasy I am willing to explore a little bit further…perhaps even take action! (Sorry, husband, if I have revealed to much. It’s what I do…and you love me for it!)

Outfit Details
Dress: Women’s Plus Black and White Mod Shift Tulip Appliqué Dress – Victoria Beckham for Target (Currently on sale for $28.00).
Long Sleeve Tee: Old Navy (No Longer available).
Boots: Old.
Earrings: Burlington Coat Factory (No direct link available).

Where have your fantasies taken you lately?  Have they led you to great places?

Fantasizing on the edge,


Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.


I am a 40 something Army wife and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats named Dave and Frankie. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

30 Responses

  1. You really know how to make me smile, Shelbee!!
    And i will disagree, because I think you look fabulous in this dress—there’s no comparison to Victoria!!

  2. I loved that read, gave me a little smile too Shelbee, and btw you look fab-u-lous in this VB dress and great with the boots! Jacqui

  3. What!!!!A Victoria Beckham for that price??? Wow! And I really love the dress, black and white is of course a great combination but the print is fabulous! Love it!
    I ll bet your husband has a lively imagination😂😂😂😂

    • Thanks, Nancy! It’s from the Victoria Beckham line for Target. Super amazing price point and they are all at 50% off in my local Target right now! And yes, yes, my husband’s imagination is quite lively! Ha!


  4. What can I say, I think that the most amazing thing we each have is our mind. Our brains where we can do anything and think of whatever we want and we get the choices of sharing it.. or not. In my book fantasies are necessary to get us by 🙂

    • I absolutely agree, Lorena! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on the topic. I am so fascinated by how differently people feel about fantasies…being right or wrong or indifferent!


  5. This dress is absolutely stunning! I love the unique pattern on it. Have an amazing week!

  6. That is so cute. I saw it in the store. I love it even more on you! Target – such an evil place.

    • Thanks so much, Diane! Target is so evil. I was just there today for some necessities and I told the sales girl that I am cursing Target and all of their cute irresistible things!


  7. In love with this Victoria Beckham dress!! So great paired with boots!

    cute & little

  8. Great post! We are all human, sometimes we all need to remember that. And our inner thoughts are ours and it is ok to have them! And yes action or not is ours too. Everyone needs an escape from reality sometimes! Like when I show my hairdresser a style (often on a famous actress) and I say, I want my hair to look kind of like that. And for a second afterwards, I am like wait, but my face didnt change haha. And then i realize it is ok to be me, even though for a second, I imagined a total transformation.

  9. I love the dress, it looks really good on you, especially with those boots! 🙂

  10. I posted this dress as a favorite of mine when the collab released. It looks AMAZING on you and I love how you styled it with the shirt underneath and boot for cooler climates – I’m in Ohio and we’ve been struggling to break 50 this spring.

    • Thanks so much, Elizabeth! I am so in love with this dress! And we have been struggling to break into the 50’s as well here in northern New York. So if I want to wear my cute Spring clothes, I definitely need to be creative in finding ways to winterize them!


  11. Thanks for linking up to Top of the World Style. Great black and white look!

  12. Well, you look much better than I did in that dress! I’m quite the daydreamer myself, or maybe just a positive thinker!? ;P

    Thanks so much for linking up with Fun Fashion Friday! Have a fab weekend!

    Dawn Lucy

    • How is that possible, Dawn Lucy?! I totally would have thought that you would rock this dress! But I do think the cuts of the VB for Target line were so generous that they probably overwhelmed more petite women. Daydreams and positive thinking go hand in hand, don’t they? Thanks so much for stopping by and have a fabulous weekend!


  13. I love the dress! Too bad we can’t get them here in the UK. I was always drifting off on a daydream in school, it often got me into trouble! It has its uses though – athletes use visualisation to focus on their goals, which is kind of the same thing!

    Emma xxx

    • Thanks so much, Emma! And isn’t VB from the UK? And you can’t even get her line there? I find that strange for some reason! And I am very familiar with visualization techniques through sports! I was a master at it during my years of competitive swimming.


  14. This is such a fantastic look and you’ve styled it so beautifully! Perfect for spring in the North East, it is going to be in the 90’s today, though…yikes!

    • Thanks so much, Elizabeth! It is in the 80’s here today and so hot and humid. But then tomorrow it’s a high of 56! I don’t understand weather. But I do enjoy the cooler temperatures more anyway!


  15. You look so fab Shelbee! I love the bold print on you and I love how you threw a long sleeve under it for more coverage if it’s cool out. Great idea! #fridayfrivolity

    • Thanks so much, Amethyst! I think I actually prefer this dress with the long sleeves. It may be more of a cool weather dress for me also because the boots are so perfect with it!


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