Friends are a necessary part of life. Friendships are a required human relationship among social and communal beings. Few can get through the journey of life without having friends. The amount of friends we acquire in life is unique to each individual. Just as unique as the type of friendships we develop with different people. Certain types of friends are temporary, serving a specific purpose at a precise point in our lives. Other types of friends are much more permanent, remaining steadfast throughout all of the changes we each endure in a lifetime. Even the permanent types of friends may come and go, being more present at certain times and less at others, but still they remain always in the category of “closest friends” even if years pass by with little or no communication.
*This is a sponsored post. This scarf was provided to me by Zaful for purposes of this post. As always, all thoughts and opinions are entirely my own. Be sure to check out the Zaful Valentine’s Day 2018 sale!
I am a very social being, craving interaction with people on a level deeper than just mere acquaintances. As a result, I do have a lot of people in my life who fall into the generic category of “friend.” Some friends have had a presence in my life for most of my existence. I will often refer to these friends as my oldest and dearest. But there are other friends in my life with whom I have become faithfully close to in more recent years. By virtue of similar circumstances or location or interests, we meet new people all the time as we go about the business of our days. While this type of friend does not have the benefit of an extended personal history with you, they can nonetheless become the nearest and dearest to your heart. These friends with whom you have the opportunity of regular interaction quickly become the ones you rely on for companionship, for advice, for help, for a shoulder to cry on, for a partner with whom to celebrate your successes large or small. These are the friends you spend your days with and become the closest to in the present.
While your lifelong friends know all the details of the person you once were and have watched you grow and change and evolve throughout the years and have loved you through the journey, your daily friends know all the details of the here and now. They know your every trip and fall, your every tiny achievement, how you drink you coffee, your favorite restaurant, your little secrets and your grandest dreams. They know the nuances of your personality from frequent exposure. They recognize when you seem a bit off and know exactly what to do to get you back on track. Heck, they may even know your daily bathroom routine and what medications you take. These daily friends are the ones whom currently, right at this moment in time, are your very closest friends. They may be lifelong friends if you are fortunate enough to still live in close proximity to them. But in any regard, they are the friends who are the keepers of your deepest secrets and they hold onto those without judgment and you trust them without fear or shame.
But when you know someone this well, the line between knowing too much can become blurry. Boundaries can begin to get all wiggly and wonky. Perhaps too much has been revealed and one or the other or both involved in the sharing of intimate knowledge becomes uncomfortable. Ashamed. Fearful. Embarrassed. Judgments can even begin to creep in. Disagreements can happen. Feelings can get hurt. But just like any other intimate relationship, communication is key. Without proper communication, all trust begins to break down. Once this happens, there is very often no recovering from it.
We walk a very fine line in our closest friendships and sometimes we just plain old get derailed. So what are we supposed to do when that happens? For me, it is considering all of the factors involved that tripped us over that fine line. What we could have done differently is really an insignificant pondering since we can never undo what has been done. All we can do is reevaluate, reconsider, and decide which direction is best to go. Unlike a marriage, where a court needs to be involved in the dissolution of the relationship, a friendship, or any other non-marital relationship at all really, can simply be dissolved by one party declaring it so. In fact, a conversation on the topic doesn’t even ever have to occur.
When a friendship is no longer satisfying for one reason or another, perhaps the best decision is to accept that it has run its course and served its purpose. Perhaps it has caused too much drama. Perhaps there is too much negativity. Maybe it is just too demanding to maintain it in your current state of affairs. It is possible that friends just grow to not really like each other anymore. Or maybe life just got too busy for one or both. Whatever the reason may be, it is perfectly acceptable to dissolve friendships throughout our lives. Moving forward is never a terrible thing. And nurturing relationships with every single person whom we have ever called a friend is nearly impossible.
So as we journey through this life, meeting new people with every new experience and adventure, it is important to know that some will become acquaintances, some we may never know at all, some may become our temporary friends, and some may become our friends forever. Recognizing the purpose of these relationships in our lives is as important as appreciating that we had them at all.
So to my friends, past, present, and future, know that I appreciate you and the time we have spent together. I hold memories that are fond and filled with joy and laughter. I recognize that each relationship has merely run its course to completion. And that is okay. Because this is how life goes. Our friendships are walking that fine line through life holding each other’s hands so we don’t trip and fall. And if we do fall, there is another hand waiting on the sidelines to pull us back up.
Have you let your dearest friends know that you appreciate them?
Keeping it on the edge,
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