Shameless: How I Halloween with DressLily & Link Up On the Edge #66

*Warning: This post goes from light-hearted fun to some deep and serious stuff at the end! Just be prepared for the switch.

Halloween is here. And I am not really all that festive about it. I am much more of a Thanksgiving and Christmas kind of girl. But with two young boys who seem to have an affinity for all things dark and gruesome these days, I suppose I have no choice but to give in a little bit or be known as the buzzkill mom who doesn’t know how to have fun! So when it was time for me to choose an item from DressLily to add to my closet, I let my 4-year-old pick for me.

*This is a sponsored post. As always, all thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.

And this is what he chose…this velvet bat wing hoodie c/o DressLily.

Being as easy going as I usually am and really just trying to be a “cool mom”, I just went with it. Not sure exactly how to style such a piece, I went basic with a pair of distressed boyfriend jeans, a red vee neck tee shirt, and some lace up flats. I had to go a little edgy with my web-inspired fish net socks from Rosegal and a belt that was too small for my waist worn as a choker.

I have to let you know that I wore this outfit all day long on Tuesday. This sweatshirt is super supple and soft and cozy. I know I might possibly look a little ridiculous, but I was seriously so comfortable that I didn’t even care that I was walking around town in a bat sweatshirt! In the interest of styling pieces for my sponsored posts in the most creative way possible, I just embraced my inner child bat woman and went full force for bat effects!

Here’s the switch: In the spirit of Halloween and all things creepy, I am going to share this potentially embarrassing bit of information with you all. But only because this link up happens to be the 66th Link Up On the Edge and because I like to be real and transparent with regard to issues of mental health. I have serious creep-factor issues with the number 66 or 666 or 6,666. Really just with the number 6 itself and any other number that contains or ends in 6. This issue has been for most of my life to the point that it needed to be addressed quite seriously in counseling sessions. If I was reading a book, I could not end and put a bookmark in any page that ended in 6. As I read through any page that ended in 6, I had to bless myself 9 times. If I caught a glimpse of a clock while the time ended in 6, the same thing…9 blessings. Volume levels on televisions or radios could never, ever be set on numbers that ended in 6. If I was cashing out at a store or a restaurant and my total ended in 6, I would add or remove something from my order to change the total. The fear of something terrible happening to me was real and severe if I allowed these numbers into my life. It took years and years to break me from the compulsion to bless myself every time I encountered numbers with 6.

I have to admit that even today in a place of very good mental health, I actually considered NOT typing Link Up On the Edge #66 and skipping right to #67. Who would notice that anyway? Probably no one. Except I know that I have done too much work, really hard work, really productive work, over the years to let something that silly bother me that much. In all honesty, it does make me squirm a tiny bit to have typed all those 6’s in this post. And I am resisting the urge to start blessing myself.  But I wanted to prove how far I have come on this mental health journey. And I wanted to show you all that I will not be ashamed of even the strangest things that happened along the way. I need to be loud and clear on this issue: there is no shame in mental illness. In all of its strangeness, its misunderstood aspects, its darkness, and its creepiness, there is no shame.  And only once we can rid ourselves of that shame can true healing begin.

So for Halloween, put on whatever costume you need to wear, whatever armor may be required, in order to fight your demons, whatever they may be.  And if you currently have no demons to fight, then wear that silly outfit just to be the cool mom! And have a Happy Halloween!

Now your favorite posts from last week’s link up.

Mimi of A Tray of Bliss has been sharing a series of amazing tips for dressing body types similar to hers. Her post this week, A New You…Dressing the Petite Plus Sized Apple #7…The Four C’s… is super inspiring and definitely worth a read for all women looking to up their style game!

Mimi of A Tray of Bliss

And Susan of The Midlife Fashionista shared a super fun post featuring amazing luxury items from her local consignment shop. Just look at all the beautiful things in Four Ways to “Chic”.

Susan of The Midlife Fashionista

Enjoy the link up! And know that any comments are welcome here without judgment!  And shame will not be permitted!


Keeping it real on the edge,

Shelbee

Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.

Follow shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com:

I am a 40 something Army wife and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats named Dave and Frankie. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.

64 Responses

  1. Have a great weekend Shelbee. Happy Halloween! xx

  2. I think this bat hoodie is just the cutest! I also think its brave of you to not only share your issues with the #6 but to overcome it! Go girl!

    Brooke
    pumps and push-ups

    • Brooke, thank you so much for this comment! Hitting publish on this one was a little intimidating for some reason. But there it is…all of my oddities exposed! I appreciate your kindness and support! Have a great weekend, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  3. Those boys don´t know how lucky to have such a cool mom! And I loved the upside down photo! Happy Halloween!

  4. Shelbee, you have a marvelous talent of being to bring forth a serious topic in a way that’s poignant and yet easy to read. I’m can understand how an obsession could control your actions and I applaud your perseverance in pushing through. The photos are fabulous and I busted out laughing at the upside down one. 😂 Thanks for the enlightenment and the link up.

    Rena
    http://www.finewhateverblog.com

    • Rena, thank you so much for this wonderful comment. I appreciate that more than you know. You know I just want to be as real and open as I can be in order to be relatable and helpful to others.

      If you had been there watching Amy and me doing these photos, you would have laughed even harder! At first, I was going to try to actually hang upside down! OMG. I leaned back to about a 3 degree angle and thought I was going to fall on my head. We were dying until Amy suggested that I just flip the photo upside down! I am so glad I gave you a chuckle with it. I hope you have marvelous weekend, my friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  5. What a fun and festive look!
    xo,
    Jacqueline
    Stylin In St. Louis

  6. Awwww Shelbee, you are adorable. Go you on standing up to the dreaded 6. You are one powerful lady. Thanks so much for the feature. I’m so honoured. Love, Mimi xxx

  7. You just have to laugh at what kids will pick sometimes! Very cool of you to just go with it. You will have something warm and comfortable to wear when you take them trick or treating, right? I totally get you on the numbers thing. I used to count things whenever I got stressed and I also couldn’t have the volume on the television or radio be set on an even number. As I have worked on my issues, I rarely default to these behaviors these days.

    • Jennie, thank you so much for sharing your number issue with me! I went through a phase of hating even numbers, too! Isn’t that weird? But this is why I share these strange behaviors…because then they seem not so strange when someone else chimes in and says, “Hey, I get it. I have been that way, too.” So thank you so much for that!

      And yes, when I allow my kids to pick my clothing, I do end up with some odd pieces. But I really do like this sweatshirt and it will definitely be my trick-or-treat outfit!

      Thanks so much for stopping by. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  8. Love it!! Happy Halloween XOXO
    Lisa @ http://www.beauty101bylisa.com/2017/10/trendy-business-event-makeup-outfit.html

  9. I’m so glad you talk about mental illness, Shelbee!! We can be more understanding of people if we realize if everyone isn’t the same and is struggling with different issues!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • Jodie, thank you so much for that! It is so important to open the discussion around these issues that people feel so inclined to hide away. How can we heal if we can’t even discuss what needs healing?

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  10. Shelbee this bat wing hoodie is amazing:)

  11. My grandfather was the first person in the Netherlands who was treated for ocd. He, at is worse periode, was kept asleep for two months tot give his body and mind some rest. So I can understand what you had to go through. It is a huge achievement to come so far Shelbee!

    • Nancy, thank you so much for your support and for sharing that story about your grandfather. What an interesting method of treatment they used. Although I find that is how a lot of psychotropic medications work anyway…they make you numb and sleepy all the time so you can’t feel much of anything else. I am so glad to have found my way to a place where I do not need medication and can control it all and still feel things! Have a wonderful weekend, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  12. Love this outfit, and what a fabulous shot of you up-side-down – brilliant. x Jacqui
    http://www.mummabstylish.com

  13. What a great post Shelbee! I love how you embraced the bat cape, and I love how you speak your mind on this blog!!

  14. The sweatshirt is fabulous…it’s the perfect easy way to “dress up” for Halloween! And congratulations on the 66th link up…and for having the strength to call it that. xo
    Debbie
    http://www.fashionfairydust.com

    • Debbie, thank you so much! The sweatshirt is so comfortable, too. I am so glad my little guy chose it! And thank you for recognizing that it really did take some amount of strength to call this my 66th link up! Great triumphs come from winning the smallest battles. Have a fabulous weekend, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  15. Thanks for sharing your story Shelbee. I totally get it and appreciate your honesty. I adore this Halloween sweatshirt. Such an easy thing to throw on! I hate getting dressed up so I would seriously get this.

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

    • Kathrine, thank you so much for this wonderful comment. I am glad that I can share my story and keep it relatable. And this sweatshirt is so fabulous for exactly that reason! I am dressed for the holiday without any fuss. Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  16. How fun your son got to pick this out for you! It’s a fun and festive sweatshirt!

  17. That bat hoodie is fabulous and so are you. Congratulations on posting #66 and for having the guts to share your journey. I know you do it to help others and you do!
    xo,
    Kellyann

    • Kellyann, thanks so much! I really am glad I let my son pick this piece for me! It is super fun and so comfortable. And thank you for validating what I do. I try to be relatable and open in the hopes that it will help others! This is my mission. So it feels great to know that I am accomplishing what I set out to do with this blog. Thanks for stopping by and always being so supportive. Have a great weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  18. Great post. Love the detail of the fishnet bootie socks (look spiderwebby maybe?). Simple and casual yet practical and fun! Also, the topic is great, we all have our quirks and I didnt seem to understand ocd or repetitive behaviors until later in life. Earlier on though, I remember having some issues with light switches, turning them off and then back on until I got a better feeling that something bad wasn’t going to happen or to clarify what the shadows were. It wasnt a specific number, but a feeling I had to get. Thanks for sharing!

    • Aimee, thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with the repetitive and OCD-like behavior. It does make us feel less alone when we can talk about it without judgment and just be relatable. And thanks for the fun photo shoot! This was a good one! You rock. Love you, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  19. Oh my gosh! Love that sweatshirt and the shoes as well! So awesome! And love the inverted pic – A+ on creativity. Good for you on working through your discomfort with the 6 issue. Have a great weekend and thanks for hosting this link-up!

    Elizabeth | http://nattygal.com

    • Thanks so much, Elizabeth! Amy and I were laughing so hard about that picture because initially I actually tried to hang myself upside down! I leaned back only slightly and decided that it was in no way a good idea! Hahaha. So we decided inverting the picture would be the safest way to create the effect I wanted! Have a great weekend, my friend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  20. Shelbee! I am so happy you shared your story. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of! You’ve come a long way and you’re such a strong woman. I love following you and your blog and knowing something deep about you makes me feel even closer to you – in a non-creepy way!
    –Roxanne
    http://glassofglam.com

    • Hahahah, Roxanne, not creepy at all! I like to share my intimate stories on my blog in the hopes that I am relatable to the people who read it! So, thank you for validating that I am accomplishing what I set out to do! You rock, my friend! Thanks for stopping by and being such a great blogger friend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  21. That’s just the cutest outfit! So fun and perfect for Halloween! I wish I had that hoodie. I’ll be spending Halloween with my grandson and dressing up and having so much fun! Can’t wait. Have a great weekend doll!
    Cheryl
    https://www.northwestmountainliving.com

  22. Love the hoodie and that pic where you are upside down. One thing I have learned over the years is that we all have our demons, I have mine. Only people who are honest and in touch with themselves are able to talk about them and deal with them.

    Thanks for hosting, have a great weekend and have a good and safe Halloween.

    • Patrick, thank you so much for this comment. I agree with you that we all have some demons to deal with. And this is exactly why I talk about mine…it is the best way to deal with them. And hopefully by being open about mine, I can encourage others to be open about theirs. And then they can reach a place of healing. I appreciate your honesty and all of your support of what I do! Have a great weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  23. I love that your son picked this out! And I’m more of a Christimas/Thanksgiving person too, but I really like being able to dress up and my sanity not be questioned. And good for you for typing that number! It is always important to face a fear (whatever it might be) and take a stand against it. 🙂

    Mary
    https://www.themarycurator.com/

    • Mary, thank you so much for this comment! As I have gotten older, I am really trying to face all of my fears head on. It is the only effective way of conquering them. And nothing bad happened by my typing the number 6 all over this post! Have a great weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  24. Shelbee, you are not alone in your dislike of certain numbers! So many buildings don’t have a 13th floor, and the number 4 is avoided in Chinese culture (apparently it sounds like the word for “death”), and I’m sure there are even more examples. We all have our things, and I think we should embrace them! Thank you for sharing!
    Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net

    • Cheryl, thanks for this comment and for validating that I am not all that crazy! Hahahaha. This is why I like to share it all…all the quirks, all the weird things. Hopefully, it will help someone else to not feel too crazy! Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  25. Love the sweater! How Halloween ready are you!! Love it!

  26. That hoodie is so cute! And thanks for sharing your struggles with the number 6. I think whenever we share our struggles, we potentially help so many others.

    Thanks for the link up & have a great weekend!

    • Andrea, thank you so much! I agree with you about sharing our struggles and our stories. And I do it all in an effort to potentially help others! I appreciate all of your support and wish you a very happy weekend!

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  27. I am sure that your boys know they are lucky they have you. You are indeed a cool mom and just enjoy every moment. I am sorry to hear about your “6” condition, wonderful post my love.

    StyleSprinter Blog by Katya Bychkova

  28. Oh wow Shelbee, what a great look. Love that top 🙂 Thanks for sharing at the weekend blog hop.

  29. I think it’s quite common to have either an affinity for or an aversion to a certain number. We were talking about it at work recently – one person favours the number 3, while for another it’s 5. In fact, if anyone has sweets or there’s a buffet, he has to take 5 things or none at all. I’ve always had a preference for the number 4 (I’ve heard that’s a common one). My old house was number 8 and the previous owners chose it when it was built because they were Chinese and 8 is considered lucky in their culture. Your bat sweater looks super cosy, hope you have a great Halloween!

    Emma xxx
    ww.style-splash.com

    • Emma, thank you so much for sharing this comment! Isn’t it so interesting how people are drawn to different numbers and associate different things with them? For example, I really don’t like even numbers in general. And it’s because my mother was a very unhealthy obese woman and when she would eat snacks, she rationalized like this…if I eat a cookie, I have to eat two so the one isn’t lonely…which would quickly become 4 then 6 then 8. In an effort to not be like that with food, I “rebelled” in a way that I could and would eat only 1! And her “it would be lonely” rationale annoyed me so much that I began doing everything in odd numbers! So silly, right?

      xoxo
      Shelbee

  30. I have never seen a bat wing hoodie, but perfect for the occasion of Halloween! Looks comfy. 🙂 x #openslather

  31. Shelbee I absolutely love that hoodie. It’s perfect. Happy Halloween.
    Xx, Nailil

  32. Wow What a crazy sweatshirt – I’ve never seen anything like it!!
    http://www.michellespaige.com/

    • Isn’t is so much fun, Michelle?! I wore it three times during the week of Halloween and I am sure it will come back out next year for all of my Halloween events. It is so warm and comfortable, too! Thanks for stopping by.

      xoxo
      Shelbee

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