Dear Mother Nature,
I am not entirely sure who has wronged you so, but you are fighting back with a vengeance and I am merely getting caught in the cross fire of your mad flinging of snow. I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for whatever has made you so inexplicably angry. I also want to say that you sure are beautiful when you’re pissed. But how much prettier you would be if you just calmed down a little and let go of whatever grudge you are holding.
I also wanted to tell you that I am tired. I am very, very tired. You see, Sister Menopause and all of her wretched symptoms has planted herself firmly on my doorstep…right in the five foot pile of snow that has accumulated there. What she continues to offer me is bone-chilling cold flashes. These servings of shivering numbness are not very conducive to dealing with the bitter cold temperatures and endless snowstorms that you keep throwing at me. And I can’t ask Sister Menopause to leave, for I know in my heart that she just won’t go until she is good and ready. I also know that she is always angry and her wrath will never subside. Plus, she has made it quite clear that she will be staying for a very long time. And since the cold and snow don’t seem to have much effect on her at all, it is pointless to ask any favors of her. She is one tough, unaccommodating, nasty broad, that’s for sure. So I must turn my plea in your direction.
*Hat: Borrowed from Amy. I tried to steal it from her, but she caught me and took it back!
I don’t know if you are aware, but my husband has been sent to warm and sunny Louisiana for training this winter, so I am by myself with two young children who are not quite capable of pulling their own weight when it comes to things such as snow removal. So every day, and often multiple times a day, I have to swath my frozen bones in layers upon layers of cold weather gear and venture outside into the biting cold to remove the freshly fallen snow from my car, my driveway, my sidewalk, and my front porch. Again and again and again.
And I am really, really tired. Exhaustion is weighing upon me like fifteen tons of snow. Exhaustion combined with pain. My shoulders hurt, my back aches, my toes are numb, my nose is chapped, and my fingers feel a little bit frostbitten. I have been feigning happiness and yelling out to the world with a smile upon my face, “When the universe gives you snow…have a snowball fight, make yourself a sweet sugary snow cone, build a snowman, go sledding, do a snowy photo shoot!”
But really what I want to be shouting with vile contempt in my voice and fire in my eyes is “When the universe gives you snow…curl up in your warmest jammies, make some hot cocoa, hide inside until Spring arrives, and be damned that bitch Mother Nature.” But alas, getting angry at you, the one who controls the weather, is one of the most fruitless things a person can do. And I cannot hide in my house until your revenge is complete because life must go on. And it must go on even if I have to trudge through multiple feet of snow in order to get anywhere including the ten feet to the end of my driveway. My boots are getting heavy, I tell you. Really, really heavy. One foot in front of the other is becoming quite an effort in strength and will power these days.
So dear Mother Nature, I plead with you…can you please cut me a break? I am tired, I’m in pain, I’m cold, I’m frustrated, and I’m heavy. And it’s all because of you. I only request a week without a snow storm. Surely you can grant me a mere 7 short days. Put your grand scheme of retribution on hold. Just so I have some time to dig myself out from under it all and catch my breath for a day before you bury me again.
If you can find it in the coldness of your bitter heart to grant my humble request, most powerful Mother Nature, I am sure that there are others who would also be most appreciative. While I await your response, I will do what I always do…Whatever it takes to get through without breaking and smile for the camera!
Shamelessly begging in the most respectful manner possible,
And now your favorite posts from last week.
Roxanne of Glass of Glam just turned 30 a bit over a week ago and she shared her Golden Birthday Wisdom plus a really fantastic outfit! Happy Birthday, Roxanne! The 30’s are a great decade of life, but wait until your 40’s! It just keeps getting better…until menopause shows up.
Keeping it on the edge,
Linking up with these Fabulous Link Ups.