Today, I Wept
Today, I wept. This morning, my college swim coach shared the news of this story on our team’s alumni Facebook page. He shared it because the husband and father of the victims was a member of our team and a member of my graduating class. And while I have not “known” him in 20 plus years, today my heart broke for him. I quickly shared the Go Fund Me Fundraiser on my Facebook page because in that moment I wasn’t really sure what else to do.
A few hours later as I was walking to pick up my youngest son from preschool, I was lost deep in thought wondering what I could possibly do to help in this situation. And it occurred to me that I have a forum where I can share the things that move me. And I can spread awareness. And I can ask for help. And as I was walking, I began to weep. I wept for all the lives that are lost due to things that seemingly just don’t make sense. I wept for the parents who have lost children. I wept for the children who have lost parents. I wept for all the people who have been affected and will be affected by tragedies such as these. I wept in fear wondering where in the world are my children safe. Because if their lives are not even safe in the car with their mother, is there any safe place in this world?
Then I began wondering what is the solution..if there even is one? The shooter in this incident is apparently pleading that he has mental health issues and in one article has blamed a new medication. So is the answer better mental health care? Is it stricter gun laws? Is it completely isolating ourselves from this world? Is it living constantly on the alert for life threatening dangers? Living our lives in perpetual fear? Should we never leave our homes without wearing bullet proof gear? What is the solution? Is there a solution? Right now, I am just sitting here at my computer confused and heartbroken. And I am asking you all to do what you can for this family…even if it is just sending prayers for their healing. Because I have no doubt that they will feel broken and lost for a really long time.
And to our swim coach, Chris…always the patriarch all these years later. You, my friend, have had to be the bearer of tragic news too many times. And I never gave you the credit you deserve for the strength you possess and the strength you share with the people around you. I recognize it now and want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your strength.
*In no way do I want to exploit this family, I really just wanted to share this story because it broke my heart. And I because I want to find an answer to the these inexplicable tragedies. And because I want to help in any way that I can. And this is only the way that I know how to help in this moment. The family has asked that their privacy be respected, so I ask that we all do just that.
Weeping on the edge,
Shelbee
Linking up with these Link Ups.
*I wrote this post yesterday (Tuesday) for publication on Wednesday.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
I am a midlife woman, wife, and stay-at-home mother of 2 boys and 2 cats. I have a passion for helping other women feel fabulous in the midst of this crazy, beautiful life.
37 Comments
Kellyann Rohr
Oh my goodness Shelbee, what a tragedy. My heart breaks for this family, I cannot even imagine what they’re going through. Thank you for spreading the word to get this family some of the help they’ll need financially. I will keep them in my prayers.
xo,
Kellyann
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Kellyann, I literally cannot get my head around what they must be going through. My heart hurts so much for them.
xoxo
Shelbee
Carol Tsacoyeanes
I’m so sorry Shelbee. This is horrible for all involved. Sending strength and prayers.
Carol
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Carol, thank you for sending prayers for this family.
xoxo
Shelbee
Cathy Kennedy
Shelbee,
A loss life no matter how its claimed is never an easy pill to swallow. The sad truth is I think anyone bent on harming others for whatever reason will find a way to do it. We don’t need more laws to control a person actions because we know that’s not really going to matter. People aren’t thinking, “Oh darn, I’m going to be breaking the law if I use my van to plow through a crowd of people or shoot up a *insert target of choice* full of people!” Nope, it’ll happen regardless. Evil hides behind many masks, sometimes it’s mental illness, other times its anger, or extremists killing in the name of their god. It’s good that we can’t wrap our minds fully around these individuals way of thinking but instead, we need to stay vigilant to preserve our freedoms to protect those we love. My prayers are with this family. I can’t even imagine what they are going through right now. May our blessed heavenly Father have His arms wrapped around them, giving them comfort in the days to come.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Cathy, I cannot thank you enough for this perspective. I agree with you completely that evil will always find a way. Stricter laws will do nothing. And unfortunately, I think there is no solution. It is good that we cannot wrap our brains around actions of this sort, but man, news like this can send the head spinning, can’t it? I appreciate your prayers for this family. I am sure they need all the loving energy available.
xoxo
Shelbee
Tamar Strauss-Benjamin
Oh Shelbee, what a horrible tragedy! Sending prayers and thoughts to you and them.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Tamar, thank you for the prayers.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jodie
It’s so heart wrenching to read these stories.
Sending prayers and love to all involved including you, Shelbee.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
It really does break your heart, Jodie. Thank you for sending prayers.
xoxo
Shelbee
Emily
This is so heartbreaking – but I appreciate you sharing on even such a difficult topic. It’s so sad to hear of all of the evil in our world, but an even greater reminder that we must do everything in our power to counteract it with good. My thoughts and prayers are going out to all who have been affected.
-Emily | http://www.TheEmilyEdition.com
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Emily, thank you so much for your kind words. We must continue to be diligent in spreading goodness throughout this world, for sure. Because evil seems to always find its way in.
xoxo
Shelbee
Lisa Richardson
Such a tragedy. We live in a crazy world and there are no guarantees. Incidents like this are a reminder of that. You are sweet to share and get the word out. XO
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Lisa, thanks so much for reading. It really is just heart breaking. We need to keep spreading kindness all around us because evil always finds a way in.
xoxo
Shelbee
Vivienne
I’m weeping with you here, but for a different reason. I fairly recently found your blog and subscribed looking for a more positive take on mental illness and overcoming the stigma. Instead, I’m finding that mental illness is a “mask” for evil and a complete lack of empathy for the individual who was supposedly mentally ill. My son, a college student, Eagle Scout, and also mentally ill, was attacked, briefly abducted and injured by a Vietnam Vet with PTSD. He completely forgave the man and did not press charges as the man was clearly having a psychotic episode and needed help. He did not see him as evil, but ill. I was proud of my son for being able to forgive as taught in our church and I believe my son’s illness has helped him become a better person. It also may have helped him survive that he volunteered at a nursing home for years and learned not to argue with people who are not well.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Vivienne, thank you for sharing your concerns here. I do not see mental illness as a mask for evil at all. Mental illness is a very serious issue and one that we should be able to discuss without stigma or fear in the discussion. I merely posed the question wondering if we need better mental health care as some sort of solution to this problem because I am simply at a loss for whether there is a solution at all to acts of this sort. I am sympathetic to all parties involved and affected. The shooter and the family of the shooter, I am certain, are living in awful turmoil right now. My heart is broken for everyone involved because all of their lives have been changed in the worst way…literally forever. I do hope that I can provide you with a more positive take on mental illness in future posts. This one was written from a very emotional place and a place of fear for my own children. I have suffered from Bipolar Disorder my entire life and I am sure I have hurt people along the way, however, I have never engaged in violent acts. I am not sure that mental illness is a justification for violence at all. In all honesty, the lines are very blurred on this one, for sure. I really do appreciate your input and you have every reason to be very proud of your son. Thank you for sharing your personal story with me.
xoxo
Shelbee
jacqui berry
Really awful to hear something like this Shelbee, I can understand how you feel. Sending good wishes. Jacqui Mummabstylish
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jacqui, thank you for reading and sharing your kind words.
xoxo
Shelbee
Roxanne
Dear God. What a tragedy. Your strength and kindness in being able to write this post does not go unnoticed. Where there is good, there is evil – and we all have to go on with our lives hoping that the latter doesn’t cross our paths.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Roxanne, thank you so much for reading and commenting. Unfortunately, I think the world we live in is just one that will deliver tragedies from time and again. I suppose it is how we respond when we experience such tragedies that will make us or break us. We must just continue to spread love and kindness around us.
xoxo
Shelbee
Nancy Baten
What a tragedy. No words for it.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Nancy, I agree. Thanks for reading, my friend.
xoxo
Shelbee
Darlene
Shelbee, that is the saddest news to hear. Thanks for sharing your heartbreak and your thoughts for helping this family. To do absolutely nothing is not the answer. We need to increase our efforts for mental health, sensible gun control and whatever else we can do. While it’s true we can’t prevent every bad thing from happening, there are things we can do. My thoughts and prayers are with this family and with you, for your heartfelt sadness.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Darlene, thank you so much for this heartfelt response. I agree we need to do something, but I am so unsure as to what can be done. Increasing mental health efforts is a huge one, for sure. We are certainly failing somewhere on that one.
xoxo
Shelbee
Jill Foley
truly heartbreaking
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Jill, thanks so much for reading.
xoxo
Shelbee
Laurie
What a senseless tragedy. Thank you for sharing. I think that the answer to your first 2 questions is “yes”. Yes, let’s do everything we can to prevent as many of these tragedies from happening as possible. Let’s not live in fear. Let’s act with compassion and purpose.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Laurie, thank you so much for sharing your input on the topic. It is so tragic and it leaves so many of us feeling lost in this world. Compassion and purpose, indeed!
xoxo
Shelbee
Snap
what a tragedy. wishing all well. peace…..
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Thanks so much for reading, Snap. I appreciate you words of peace.
xoxo
Shelbee
Marilee Gramith
Words are inadequate and it’s equally difficult to find comfort in political and social proposals for solving our sometimes tragic human condition. I weep with you Shelbee. We all take these blatant and horrific violations of our humanity personally. The lack of guaranteed solutions is a reality with a bitter taste.
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
After writing this post and thinking more about it, I did finally come to this same conclusion, Jude…that the human condition is tragic and there really is no solution. It is just the world we live in and these tragedies have been occurring for the entirety of human existence. But it still is a reality with a very bitter taste. Politics and social proposals will not prevent humanness from occurring. Thank you so much for insightful words.
xoxo
Shelbee
Teresa
Thanks for sharing this post. It make me think. Have a good week Shelbee.
Teresa
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Teresa, thank you so much for reading. Unfortunately, this story made me think, too, but about things that I don’t necessarily want to think about.
xoxo
Shelbee
Liberty Henwick
So sad, tragic death always has devastating effects. It’s hard to know how to support a family you don’t know but I hope they will find comfort in the knowledge that people are praying for them and sending them aid from across the world. Thanks for highlighting this and sharing with us on #blogcrush
shelbeeontheedge@gmail.com
Liberty, thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. I have just read that the mom and son, while still in critical condition, are improving. So prayers from across the world are helpful and welcomed even from strangers!
xoxo
Shelbee
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