Oh, how you torment me. Yet I would not have it any other way, I suppose. I understand that my husband is contractually obligated to you. But is he not also contractually obligated to me? Yet your contract trumps my contract…well, because he entered yours first. And when I entered my contract with my husband, I did so with this understanding. But man, I didn’t know all the ups and downs that would be involved in loving a soldier.
He is gone once again, leaving me to care for the children, the household, and everything in between…all the while trying to make sure to take adequate care of myself. But I sure do miss his company and his help and his ability to keep me sane when the children are driving me crazy.
He has been gone now for 56 days of what was supposed to be a 61 day absence. I prepared myself for 61 days. But then you needed him to stay longer. So now we still have 22 days of separation ahead of us. And it is starting to feel like forever. Literally, I feel like he may never return.
The children are driving me crazy. The taxes need to be filed. The house needs to be packed for an upcoming move. The amount of stuff in the house is overwhelming me. There are Legos in every corner. The daily chores are feeling like Groundhog’s Day (over and over again). The horrendous white tile kitchen floor will not remain clean…not even for one day. The Spring weather won’t arrive. And the cat keeps vomiting on the floor. At least the shed hasn’t collapsed and the hot water heater is still working and so is the furnace. Oh wait, those things all happened during our last separation!
And remember the time before the last one when the cat died in the middle of a blizzard? That was a joy to deal with on my own! That was the one when our then 3 year old needed counseling due to severe separation anxiety issues. A dead cat did not help this situation. But now that we have come this far…the kids are fine. And I am stronger than I ever imagined. I just needed to vent a little. But I am sure you hear it all the time. The same sad story of us spouses handling it all on our own. But it really isn’t that sad at all. I am proud of my husband and the job he does. And I am so empowered by the life I lead. So while I hate you sometimes, dear Army, I don’t know what I do without you in my life.
By the way, you can send my husband home any time now. We are waiting…
In the meantime, I will just enjoy a big pot of Cry Baby Soup. Then I will pat myself on the back and carry on.
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